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    <h1 style="text-align:center;color:crimson;">Thomas Bernhard</h1>
    <h3 style="text-align:center;"><i>Late Modernism's Sneering Scion</i></h3>
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      <img src="https://www.oeuvresouvertes.net/IMG/arton1720.jpg" class="img img-responsive" alt="Thomas Bernhard" style="max-height:100%;max-width:100%;">
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        <p style="text-align:center;">"Instead of committing suicide, people go to work" -Correction, 1979</p>
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    <h3 class="text-center" id="mainText">Thomas Bernhard was an Austrian author of plays, poems, polemics, and novels, but he <i>rarely distinguished between the mediums</i>; his plays were poetic, his novels theatrical, and his poems polemical.</h3>
    <h3 class="text-center" id="mainText">His <i>work</i> chronicled an obsession with Austria that was only matched <i>by his patent disdain for it.</i></h3>
    <h3 class="text-center">Here is a timeline of Thomas Bernhard's life:</h3>
    <ul>
      <li><b>1931</b> - Bernhard was born in the Netherlands.</li>
      <li><b>1947</b> - Begins an apprenticeship with a grocer.</li>
      <li><b>1949</b> - Begins tuberculosis treatment in the sanatorium Grafenhof.</li>
      <li><b>1950</b> - Meets friend and supporter Hedwig Stavianicek.</li>
      <li><b>1955</b> - Trains as an actor and singer at the Mozarteum.</li>
      <li><b>1957</b> - Begins a stint as a journalist before becoming a full-time writer.</li>
      <li><b>1989</b> - Dies, but not before taking steps to prevent any posthumous publications or stagings of his works within Austria.</li>
    </ul>
    
    <h3 style="vertical-align:middle" class="text-center" id="mainText">His fictional <i>works</i> are compelling despite their repetitive nature and <i>paradigmatic disregard for readability</i>. His memoirs are coolly spiteful to the point of apathy and ambivalence.</h3> 
    <h3 style="vertical-align:middle" class="text-center" id="mainText">His opinions regarding the <i>real or imagined slights of the state</i> and its inhabitants were as translucent as the Geistesmenschen corralled by his oeuvre. He would have hated this website and anyone inclined to visit it. </i></h3>
  <h3 class="text-center" id="mainText">One imagines <i> he lived the way he died</i>.</h3>
  
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  Everything I know about Thomas Bernhard comes from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Bernhard">wikipedia</a>, which means that I don't know anything about Thomas Bernhard. <br>Even if I did know anything about Thomas Bernhard, I would still have an <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection">incentive</a> to lie to you about it here. </br> Please consider reading about Thomas Bernhard's life <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Gathering-Evidence-My-Prizes-International/dp/1400077621"> in his own words</a>. 
  <br> Alternatively, you could read my favorite book of his, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Lime-Works-Novel-Vintage-International/dp/1400077583/ref=pd_sim_14_3?ie=UTF8&dpID=41YiYKBGGjL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL320_SR208%2C320_&refRID=1J2S460BRBVGBWW411EQ">The Lime Works</a>, and <a href="https://twitter.com/SteadyMcCaan">talk to me</a> about it.<br><a href="http://www.thomasbernhard.org/"> Or you could visit a much, much better tribute page</a>.
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