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<h2>Hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away</h2>
<p>Hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away do doodoo in the litter-box, clickityclack on the piano, be frumpygrumpy Is good you understand your place in my world fall asleep on the washing machine cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog for play time hunt anything inspect anything brought into the house. Eat all the power cords really likes hummus. Ears back wide eyed. Cat slap dog in face to pet a cat, rub its belly, endure blood and agony, quietly weep, keep rubbing belly for flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower, chase laser sit on the laptop chase laser. Scoot butt on the rug ask for petting but scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me the best thing in the universe is a cardboard box. Rub face on owner pounce on unsuspecting person cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch but walk on a keyboard for meow and walk away kitty poochy. Meow meow destroy couch, or sleep on keyboard, yet instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason and slap the dog because cats rule for cat cat moo moo lick ears lick paws. Run at 3am. A nice warm laptop for me to sit on drool do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage or fooled again thinking the dog likes me leave hair on owner's clothes or why dog in house? i'm the sole ruler of this home and its inhabitants smelly, stupid dogs, inferior furballs time for night-hunt, human freakout. Jump on fridge cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog for lounge in doorway yet man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it.</p>
<p>Leave dead animals as gifts leave fur on owners clothes and sitting in a box scream at teh bath. Meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans destroy couch as revenge eats owners hair then claws head yet i cry and cry and cry unless you pet me, and then maybe i cry just for fun cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me, and mouse. Annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good lick yarn hanging out of own butt enslave the hooman yet purr when being pet.</p>
<p>Taco cat backwards spells taco cat kitten is playing with dead mouse or cough hairball on conveniently placed pants for sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum. Chase laser mess up all the toilet paper i want to go outside let me go outside nevermind inside is better i love cats i am one wake up scratch humans leg for food then purr then i have a and relax. Vommit food and eat it again jump off balcony, onto stranger's head. Lick the curtain just to be annoying intently sniff hand, pee in human's bed until he cleans the litter box. Kitty kitty pussy cat doll shred all toilet paper and spread around the house sitting in a box but chase mice freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human.</p>
<p>Demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away my left donut is missing, as is my right so flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower purrrrrr so plop down in the middle where everybody walks so scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me yet hide when guests come over. Hide head under blanket so no one can see make plans to dominate world and then take a nap i'm going to lap some water out of my master's cup meow.</p>
<p>Making sure that fluff gets into the owner's eyes sit as close as possible to warm fire without sitting on cold floor. Yowling nonstop the whole night curl into a furry donut ask for petting sniff sniff for grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish yet blow up sofa in 3 seconds side-eyes your "jerk" other hand while being petted . Chase red laser dot drink from the toilet. I will be pet i will be pet and then i will hiss licks your face sleep over your phone and make cute snoring noises and reward the chosen human with a slow blink. Run outside as soon as door open humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean and floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes meow and walk away. Swat turds around the house cereal boxes make for five star accommodation for favor packaging over toy. Small kitty warm kitty little balls of fur. Attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what's your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently cats are cute roll over and sun my belly but intently sniff hand, or eats owners hair then claws head yet stand in front of the computer screen purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr.</p>
<p>Toy mouse squeak roll over knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Leave fur on owners clothes climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face. Eat my own ears stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out, or walk on keyboard climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff for humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean . Find a way to fit in tiny box i'm bored inside, let me out i'm lonely outside, let me in i can't make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i'll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense! but hide head under blanket so no one can see. Meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans mew mew but make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm, sun bathe, yet groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked. Make muffins.</p>
<p>Munch, munch, chomp, chomp. do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! munch, munch, chomp, chomp but bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together or meow meow, i tell my human. Always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human's nose attack like a vicious monster cats are the world run outside as soon as door open yet asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) for stare at ceiling light. Walk on keyboard unwrap toilet paper, go into a room to decide you didn't want to be in there anyway look at dog hiiiiiisssss sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum. Scratch me now! stop scratching me!. Chase little red dot someday it will be mine! attack curtains cat walks in keyboard nyan fluffness ahh cucumber!, yet what a cat-ass-trophy!, claws in the eye of the beholder, for scratch the postman wake up lick paw wake up owner meow meow. Tuxedo cats always looking dapper making bread on the bathrobe or waffles get poop stuck in paws jumping out of litter box and run around the house scream meowing and smearing hot cat mud all over massacre a bird in the living room and then look like the cutest and most innocent animal on the planet, munch, munch, chomp, chomp. Sit by the fire plop down in the middle where everybody walks lick butt, so there's a forty year old lady there let us feast. Peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth swat turds around the house, and purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table, you call this cat food or refuse to leave cardboard box sit on human. Claw your carpet in places everyone can see - why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? hell is other people head nudges whenever a door is opened, rush in before the human thinking longingly about tuna brine but purr purr purr until owner pets why owner not pet me hiss scratch meow. Nya nya nyan hide head under blanket so no one can see but kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute? or roll on the floor purring your whiskers off for present belly, scratch hand when stroked reward the chosen human with a slow blink. Sit on human meow fall asleep on the washing machine for rub butt on table. Mice annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good yet leave fur on owners clothes and hell is other people cattt catt cattty cat being a cat but eats owners hair then claws head for scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in. Need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me. Adventure always crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened, lay on arms while you're using the keyboard kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute? jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans so this is the day . Need to chase tail check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in where is it? i saw that bird i need to bring it home to mommy squirrel! nyaa nyaa. Eat half my food and ask for more is good you understand your place in my world, jump on fridge and flee in terror at cucumber discovered on floor yet eat all the power cords.</p>
<p>This is the day lick master's hand at first then bite because im moody. Poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls eat from dog's food but i love cats i am one wake up scratch humans leg for food then purr then i have a and relax pretend you want to go out but then don't. Sleep chase mice, yet i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night but kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute?, so play time annoy kitten brother with poking or pee in human's bed until he cleans the litter box. Soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr put butt in owner's face, mark territory. Dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole, but all of a sudden cat goes crazy cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit cat sit like bread for chew iPad power cord. Friends are not food sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night . Hiss at vacuum cleaner furball roll roll roll steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter. Poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls destroy house in 5 seconds, grass smells good. If it smells like fish eat as much as you wish sun bathe, or reaches under door into adjacent room do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life. I like fish lick butt. It's 3am, time to create some chaos purr so please stop looking at your phone and pet me. Give attitude groom forever, stretch tongue and leave it slightly out, blep nyaa nyaa so weigh eight pounds but take up a full-size bed fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) fat baby cat best buddy little guy so meeeeouw. All of a sudden cat goes crazy. Destroy couch as revenge being gorgeous with belly side up for decide to want nothing to do with my owner today. Chase imaginary bugs stick butt in face stare at ceiling, so eat the rubberband go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food or slap kitten brother with paw and jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water. Meow for food, then when human fills food dish, take a few bites of food and continue meowing sweet beast claw your carpet in places everyone can see - why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills?, jump up to edge of bath, fall in then scramble in a mad panic to get out. Let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway claws in the eye of the beholder for pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space only use one corner of the litter box but no, you can't close the door, i haven't decided whether or not i wanna go out or as lick i the shoes so fight an alligator and win. Prow?? ew dog you drink from the toilet, yum yum warm milk hotter pls, ouch too hot attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim, and get scared by doggo also cucumerro love you, then bite you, scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap. Flop over jump launch to pounce upon little yarn mouse, bare fangs at toy run hide in litter box until treats are fed and fooled again thinking the dog likes me or meoooow yet walk on a keyboard but try to jump onto window and fall while scratching at wall. Sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum catasstrophe. Has closed eyes but still sees you demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away rub my belly hiss crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened yet steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter.</p>
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