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<div id="metadata">
<h1 id="title">Everything But The Sex Stories</h1>

<p id="info">
2020, The F Plus<br>
2020<br>
<a href="https://thepfl.us" target="_blank">https://thepfl.us</a>
</p>

<p id="summary">
Since 2000, **Sex Stories Dot Com** has been trying to serve its titular goal: Providing the people willing to look at the website with stories of sexual activity. However, that's not all the site has. There's also essays, product reviews, self-help guides, jokes, and poetry. And *that's* the stuff we'll be looking at.

This week, The F Plus gives you something to listen to during your 15 minute jerk break.
</p>


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<div id="transcript" class="transcript-base">

<h2 id="chapter">Transcript</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[0:00]</small> <span title="0:00 - 0:05" data-start="00:00:00.017" data-end="00:00:04.984">Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo Booth where were you baby.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[0:06]</small> <span title="0:06 - 0:11" data-start="00:00:05.971" data-end="00:00:11.348">I lost everything I was really feeling the joy and love and that song.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">Freak Like Me</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[0:12]</small> <span title="0:12 - 0:21" data-start="00:00:12.237" data-end="00:00:20.972">I feel like I was stepping on you the first time no no no I wanted to I really wanted I wanted to be oh I misjudged that entirely.</span><br>
<span title="0:21 - 0:29" data-start="00:00:21.221" data-end="00:00:28.606">I didn't I didn't I didn't mean to give you musical blue balls but he bread yeah hurts it hurts did you know yeah it's.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[0:29]</small> <span title="0:29 - 0:41" data-start="00:00:28.720" data-end="00:00:41.040">Music.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">Reader Intros</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[0:42]</small> <span title="0:42 - 0:50" data-start="00:00:41.647" data-end="00:00:49.734">No hello sit down it's the f plus podcast and we have terrible thing.</span><br>
<span title="0:50 - 0:53" data-start="00:00:50.109" data-end="00:00:53.137">Read with enthusiasm,</span><br>
<span title="0:53 - 1:02" data-start="00:00:53.260" data-end="00:01:02.445">but in the room we have Booth ring gear Nightwing Robin and Batgirl charge it to the warehouse to fight a silent and contemplative Batman staring God off already we've also got Bunny Bread,</span><br>
<span title="1:03 - 1:10" data-start="00:01:02.505" data-end="00:01:09.692">man has a clock at a woman has a pussy this is just a simple fact of nature episode 142 of Sesame Street.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:11]</small> <span title="1:11 - 1:17" data-start="00:01:11.102" data-end="00:01:17.236">Jimmy Franks what's the Russian word for VD rot your cock off.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:19]</small> <span title="1:19 - 1:24" data-start="00:01:18.871" data-end="00:01:24.141">What's up my anus is a crumpet come taste ye of its.</span><br>
<span title="1:25 - 1:37" data-start="00:01:24.651" data-end="00:01:37.437">Why does he read the internet he reads the internet for you and his name is Lou Fernandez summary the day after son fucks mom and her friend Note 1 this is the sequel to The Story what mom doesn't know will fuck her.</span><br>
<span title="1:38 - 1:43" data-start="00:01:37.632" data-end="00:01:42.721">Although this story can stand on its own I highly recommend you read part 1 before reading this.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:45]</small> <span title="1:45 - 1:55" data-start="00:01:44.816" data-end="00:01:54.766">And lemon on a bus the female can move her legs in a certain way that she can and to obtain orgasm a man would have to rub his cock and trust me.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:56]</small> <span title="1:56 - 2:02" data-start="00:01:55.700" data-end="00:02:02.148">Yeah I can't do but realistic expectations I'm sorry.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[2:02]</small> <span title="2:02 - 2:32" data-start="00:02:02.000" data-end="00:02:32.080">Music.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">Hey, F Plus</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[2:33]</small> <span title="2:33 - 2:42" data-start="00:02:32.573" data-end="00:02:41.668">Hey f+ what the fuck hello hey I know you okay no dammit what the hell you talking to me for.</span><br>
<span title="2:42 - 2:51" data-start="00:02:41.854" data-end="00:02:50.805">Would you hey could you do me a favor my favorite horror could you put down that crack pipe no okay goddamn is part of a process now shut up,</span><br>
<span title="2:51 - 3:00" data-start="00:02:50.875" data-end="00:03:00.330">don't you 10 years ago material fuck you meet that for emotional support it's the same crack pipe I want to make note of you need except process of smoking crack,</span><br>
<span title="3:00 - 3:15" data-start="00:03:00.363" data-end="00:03:14.544">I am I'm a man who believes in good luck it's a well-seasoned oh yeah I don't input crack in it anymore I just like Tina soak up the oils from before yeah he's got a card from his doctor that justifies it right and no masks.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[3:15]</small> <span title="3:15 - 3:22" data-start="00:03:15.487" data-end="00:03:22.403">All crack pipe have a card that says I don't have to worry
him cry.</span><br>
<span title="3:23 - 3:31" data-start="00:03:22.698" data-end="00:03:31.208">Not get to need to do the crack pipe itself has a tiny little mask only Junior filters you bitch,</span><br>
<span title="3:31 - 3:39" data-start="00:03:31.268" data-end="00:03:39.436">anyway unrelated to that are y'all feeling horny hell yeah oh yeah sure this may just be the crack talking but,</span><br>
<span title="3:39 - 3:48" data-start="00:03:39.460" data-end="00:03:48.411">so hey some some Gentlemen of the f plus podcast would you like to go to the sex stories post yeah.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[3:49]</small> <span title="3:49 - 3:59" data-start="00:03:48.624" data-end="00:03:58.539">All right well I've got it I love stories I love sex stories I want to hear some sexy sexy stories so we so we only dial in on that Booth because you said you said you love</span><br>
<span title="3:59 - 4:03" data-start="00:03:58.500" data-end="00:04:03.121">you love you love stories you love sex you love sex stories</span><br>
<span title="4:03 - 4:15" data-start="00:04:02.983" data-end="00:04:14.518">so you want to go to sex stories.com is that accurate yeah why else would I go there let me tastic so what we're all going to do together as a podcast is that we're all going to go to sex stories</span><br>
<span title="4:14 - 4:22" data-start="00:04:14.425" data-end="00:04:21.881">dot-com and we're going to read everything but the sex stories from sex stories.com so we're done with the.</span><br>
<span title="4:22 - 4:31" data-start="00:04:22.077" data-end="00:04:31.325">No no no there's a bunch of things that are on sex stories.com do not qualify as sex stories what would be on sex stories.com that are not sex stories</span><br>
<span title="4:31 - 4:46" data-start="00:04:31.304" data-end="00:04:46.070">well that's a I would say I've got about an hour and change of content answer let's get no man no I was I want you to describe it all before we do I want to know what this is</span><br>
<span title="4:46 - 4:50" data-start="00:04:45.924" data-end="00:04:49.518">what's this episode 291 a or whatever</span><br>
<span title="4:49 - 5:03" data-start="00:04:49.425" data-end="00:05:02.581">we're doing the directors commentary that's yeah by the way by the way just as just as an Offset you know I you know back when DVDs were thing,</span><br>
<span title="5:03 - 5:08" data-start="00:05:02.605" data-end="00:05:08.306">favorite directors commentary ever was the director commentary for Killer Klowns from Outer Space.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[5:09]</small> <span title="5:09 - 5:22" data-start="00:05:08.573" data-end="00:05:21.602">Because the people who made the movie killer clowns from outer space took it very seriously what into just wanted to spend that hour and a half describing their art.</span><br>
<span title="5:22 - 5:31" data-start="00:05:21.825" data-end="00:05:30.893">Anyway so we're going to go into a sex stories.com and we're going to start off in the non erotic category,</span><br>
<span title="5:31 - 5:35" data-start="00:05:30.944" data-end="00:05:35.295">hot wait why it's called foreplay try it</span><br>
<span title="5:35 - 5:50" data-start="00:05:35.238" data-end="00:05:50.140">you're gonna have to talk me through this Jimmy Frank's this this is a non erotic sex story on sex stories.com called Monster High introduction as by king of all monsters.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">Monster High Introduction</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[5:52]</small> <span title="5:52 - 6:04" data-start="00:05:51.712" data-end="00:06:04.003">And the gender is the author's gender is male age is not applicable and location is not applicable and this story has no line breaks whatsoever yeah great perfect they know.</span><br>
<span title="6:04 - 6:07" data-start="00:06:04.225" data-end="00:06:07.280">Yes I'd like to introduce my story,</span><br>
<span title="6:07 - 6:20" data-start="00:06:07.403" data-end="00:06:19.847">this is my first sort of are you now I will continue just wanted to put this out there so I can get some feedback on how I should continue well definitely don't spell check Monster High part 1.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[6:21]</small> <span title="6:21 - 6:26" data-start="00:06:20.510" data-end="00:06:25.672">My name is Kingsley and I wish I could say that I was an average guy about to start his first day at normal high school,</span><br>
<span title="6:26 - 6:39" data-start="00:06:25.813" data-end="00:06:38.806">the sad reality is that I don't like the correct word for what I am in English is a monster I know because of movies like Twilight and shows like Teen Wolf you will immediately think that I am a werewolf or a vampire but I'm not even something remotely as cool.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[6:40]</small> <span title="6:40 - 6:41" data-start="00:06:40.117" data-end="00:06:40.750">All right.</span><br>
<span title="6:41 - 6:53" data-start="00:06:41.252" data-end="00:06:53.480">My dad is just as cool as he is bones and takes people to hell when they die if you haven't already figured it out on the Grim Reaper's son I figured that out my dad is cool he is just bones.</span><br>
<span title="6:54 - 7:05" data-start="00:06:53.864" data-end="00:07:05.318">It's one of those shirts that you get at the truck stop yeah look my dad school is just bones takes people to hell when they die alone I'm the proud of you within of the Grim Reaper yeah.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[7:07]</small> <span title="7:07 - 7:19" data-start="00:07:06.539" data-end="00:07:19.298">No I'm not all bones there's some meat on these bones I happen to be black because my dad has a thing for black girls this I don't really understand but hey whatever floats your boat this is Canon about the black the Grim Reaper he's.</span><br>
<span title="7:20 - 7:27" data-start="00:07:19.664" data-end="00:07:26.590">Got a thing for black people no it's just it's true okay guys in for that I'm not sure yeah.</span><br>
<span title="7:27 - 7:36" data-start="00:07:26.803" data-end="00:07:36.087">Sorry not sorry all grim reapers get to choose their appearance when the last one dies and they become the new one that is where the legend of 80s comes but,</span><br>
<span title="7:36 - 7:39" data-start="00:07:36.183" data-end="00:07:39.058">they all get to choose they just all choose the same hook</span><br>
<span title="7:39 - 7:52" data-start="00:07:38.974" data-end="00:07:51.688">so is this so the Grim Reaper operates in the same rules as the Santa Claus and the dread pirate</span><br>
<span title="7:52 - 7:54" data-start="00:07:51.613" data-end="00:07:54.002">you want a black robe off black robe.</span><br>
<span title="7:54 - 8:02" data-start="00:07:54.269" data-end="00:08:02.167">Dark gray purple robe which got you got to choose any of those the Tim Burton reboot of The Santa Clause,</span><br>
<span title="8:02 - 8:11" data-start="00:08:02.218" data-end="00:08:11.196">that is where the legend of Hades comes from he got tired of the bones thing and chose to become the god of the underworld and I personally think that is great okay.</span><br>
<span title="8:11 - 8:24" data-start="00:08:11.409" data-end="00:08:23.736">I mean who wants to be old bones have immense power and then be nobody not me simply because I am already nobody I have no powers until the day my father's dies which is really stupid.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[8:24]</small> <span title="8:24 - 8:29" data-start="00:08:24.121" data-end="00:08:28.625">Thinks the world revolves around him that he could do whatever he wants.</span><br>
<span title="8:29 - 8:34" data-start="00:08:28.910" data-end="00:08:34.359">Tells me on a daily basis I'll never get my Powers because you'll never die,</span><br>
<span title="8:35 - 8:46" data-start="00:08:34.500" data-end="00:08:46.359">will die eventually and you think that he wouldn't have time to ridicule me because he is grim reaper duties that he has to attend to but no is the Grim Reaper has the ability to create minions to do his work for him.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[8:47]</small> <span title="8:47 - 9:00" data-start="00:08:46.941" data-end="00:09:00.493">When I have the when I become the Grim Reaper this is he the first thing I yeah it's like he's bummed out because the Grim Reaper won't be backyard and play baseball with them I like the idea that the Grim Reaper the crew has sneaked him the Grim Reaper because the previous Grim Reaper died,</span><br>
<span title="9:01 - 9:04" data-start="00:09:00.607" data-end="00:09:03.895">insist that he will never die yeah yeah.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[9:05]</small> <span title="9:05 - 9:13" data-start="00:09:04.946" data-end="00:09:13.024">When I become the Grim Reaper natural causes I think this club has been written was a dick and they like he owed money to the Mob and you know I'm a driver I'm a winner.</span><br>
<span title="9:13 - 9:20" data-start="00:09:13.390" data-end="00:09:19.541">When I become the Grim Reaper the first thing I would do is change my name to something cooler and shorter like just Reaper.</span><br>
<span title="9:20 - 9:27" data-start="00:09:19.773" data-end="00:09:27.157">I mean why does he have to be Grim I mean okay good point good point good point.</span><br>
<span title="9:27 - 9:30" data-start="00:09:27.406" data-end="00:09:30.173">Yeah it's me I'm Graham Ripper.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[9:31]</small> <span title="9:31 - 9:38" data-start="00:09:30.719" data-end="00:09:37.663">My school is called Monster High and from what I have heard of this place it is possibly the worst school on the planet in probably is.</span><br>
<span title="9:38 - 9:48" data-start="00:09:37.975" data-end="00:09:48.277">The whole cartoon isn't it yeah and I've seen a little bit of this cartoon like the The Faculty looks really nice like it's like multi-story like I think I've seen chandeliers in the school.</span><br>
<span title="9:49 - 9:59" data-start="00:09:48.508" data-end="00:09:58.521">Like the whole social systems based on strength the teaching system might as well be non-existent since no one cares that teachers always give special treatment to those who.</span><br>
<span title="9:59 - 10:08" data-start="00:09:58.707" data-end="00:10:07.857">Parents are leaders in the world like the zombie King's son of pharaoh kids the werewolf alphas and the future vampire coven leaders,</span><br>
<span title="10:08 - 10:15" data-start="00:10:07.899" data-end="00:10:14.887">so all that nepotism and all I am is the Grim Reaper's child yes yeah guys like School boot.</span><br>
<span title="10:15 - 10:28" data-start="00:10:15.209" data-end="00:10:28.202">Guys like me with no power average looks and one friend or the kids that get slaughtered by the gangs and other criminal organizations because the only way to get into these gangs is to kill one random monster and seeing as I have no power and pretty sure I'm on top of everyone's list.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[10:29]</small> <span title="10:29 - 10:40" data-start="00:10:28.604" data-end="00:10:40.229">The criminal organizations of the human ones I mean who really thought that humans are strong enough to control entire cities with an iron fist me we know humans like 6,000 years of History</span><br>
<span title="10:40 - 10:49" data-start="00:10:40.181" data-end="00:10:49.213">to describe myself I'm only 5 5 as a freshman and yes that is short for black kid the worst part is that I have always been short for eighth grade I was 410</span><br>
<span title="10:49 - 11:03" data-start="00:10:49.183" data-end="00:11:03.329">like they're naturally tall that's what the thing that we can assist yeah that's what we know about double axe one of the shortest kids in my class at a Napoleon complex didn't help because I had no powers I just grew this summer and I'm sure it's not going to help because all the kids who were tall already well have gotten taller</span><br>
<span title="11:03 - 11:11" data-start="00:11:03.209" data-end="00:11:10.926">my best friend's name is Kevin and he happens to be a werewolf now I know what you're thinking if he's a werewolf why isn't he popular and have tons of friends because aren't all werewolves strong.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[11:11]</small> <span title="11:11 - 11:21" data-start="00:11:11.374" data-end="00:11:21.477">Answer that question yes and no yes okay all werewolves are strong and no he is not popular simply because he and his family are omegas they don't have a pack which in turn makes them weaker,</span><br>
<span title="11:22 - 11:30" data-start="00:11:21.528" data-end="00:11:30.299">Kevin is Peruvian and he loves to let people know about his Heritage that's why no one likes him because he's Peruvian yeah I know I mean God I already hate him,</span><br>
<span title="11:30 - 11:35" data-start="00:11:30.368" data-end="00:11:35.242">he's about the same height as me and has a natural tan like the guys from Jersey Shore's fake ones</span><br>
<span title="11:35 - 11:44" data-start="00:11:35.221" data-end="00:11:43.830">isn't talk too much of 10 cents tends to be used by girls Kevin and I are best friends because we look out for one another if one of us gets in a fight both of us getting a fight like we're brothers.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[11:44]</small> <span title="11:44 - 11:55" data-start="00:11:44.178" data-end="00:11:55.182">Kevin has one of the friend that's Paris the succubus even though I always tell her that I hate her guts I'm secretly in love with her she six to Kevin like a glove because she's in love with him and even though he is my best friend I will never know why she loves him</span><br>
<span title="11:55 - 12:01" data-start="00:11:55.125" data-end="00:12:01.267">yeesh she sticks to him literally like I link he's also an insult.</span><br>
<span title="12:02 - 12:14" data-start="00:12:01.606" data-end="00:12:13.708">Like a glove to glove no no for a black kid it's a blind sell no I'm sorry I didn't mean to be insensitive you know.</span><br>
<span title="12:14 - 12:23" data-start="00:12:13.885" data-end="00:12:23.224">It's also delicious cream filled dessert yeah if you have a blind cell,</span><br>
<span title="12:26 - 12:38" data-start="00:12:25.876" data-end="00:12:38.356">Kevin sees away from her because she knows how I feel and would never break the best friend code Paris is five foot three in those beautiful she has light brown curly hair down to her ass which is a perfectly round Apple Bottom and she has 38 diez.</span><br>
<span title="12:39 - 12:48" data-start="00:12:38.534" data-end="00:12:47.773">I know I had Kevin a beer and some apple tits too I had Kevin asked her and she will she will tells every she will tells Kevin anything,</span><br>
<span title="12:48 - 12:51" data-start="00:12:47.923" data-end="00:12:51.149">she is hilarious she thinks the things to do that no one would think of.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[12:51]</small> <span title="12:51 - 13:03" data-start="00:12:51.362" data-end="00:13:02.843">I won't give you examples yeah well use your imagination guns whatever you can hurt if she is thinking of it well this is like I was trying to write them but I couldn't think of them again</span><br>
<span title="13:03 - 13:11" data-start="00:13:02.732" data-end="00:13:10.945">she thinks in heaven is her one true mate which is what every succubus is trying to find in the only way to know is by letting her kiss you good part is that she kisses you the</span><br>
<span title="13:11 - 13:21" data-start="00:13:10.843" data-end="00:13:20.676">bad part is that if you're not her one true love you'll be her slave until she dies unless you don't think that's how succubus is work no it is it is when they got big tits it is</span><br>
<span title="13:21 - 13:32" data-start="00:13:20.547" data-end="00:13:31.560">isn't she visit you in your sleep and dream rape you I think it only if she doesn't love you if she loves you that's great</span><br>
<span title="13:32 - 13:38" data-start="00:13:31.530" data-end="00:13:37.645">yes well what's the find that doctor from Florida she can tell us all about it,</span><br>
<span title="13:38 - 13:46" data-start="00:13:37.733" data-end="00:13:45.837">I'm not willing to risk it so I'm not I'm so I'm going to just bide my time and hope that one day she'll feel the way same way I do,</span><br>
<span title="13:46 - 13:55" data-start="00:13:45.916" data-end="00:13:54.984">enough with the introductions Kevin Paris and I are about to embark on what could be our worst nightmare Monster High move.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[13:56]</small> <span title="13:56 - 13:59" data-start="00:13:55.584" data-end="00:13:58.837">Am I am I as the reader now Kevin.</span><br>
<span title="13:59 - 14:12" data-start="00:13:59.266" data-end="00:14:12.250">Thank you like you sure that there because this is a king of all monsters only post on sex stories.com it's been read right 9000 and 81 times and it's got don't know,</span><br>
<span title="14:12 - 14:20" data-start="00:14:12.292" data-end="00:14:20.469">it's got a rating of 78.1% it's pretty good oh no they became a slave to the succubus and then we're no longer able to write.</span><br>
<span title="14:21 - 14:27" data-start="00:14:20.700" data-end="00:14:26.636">Updates to the story I mean there were want him to write porn though there were</span><br>
<span title="14:27 - 14:40" data-start="00:14:26.624" data-end="00:14:39.770">erotic descriptions of oh but and breasts so this belongs here we got your temporal that you're a what else you need I think I think this may be the succubus model to still write the stories but right a month later errotica so</span><br>
<span title="14:40 - 14:49" data-start="00:14:39.767" data-end="00:14:48.916">Bunny Bread what did Anonymous reader think of the story none of us really well which not as reader would we like to post it I posted in the chat,</span><br>
<span title="14:49 - 14:58" data-start="00:14:48.949" data-end="00:14:58.468">no I'm sorry will we could you posting things hello I'm not a slow reader hey,</span><br>
<span title="14:58 - 15:05" data-start="00:14:58.492" data-end="00:15:05.300">hey hello there this was in 2013 of 7-Eleven hey Grandma breaks fuck off</span><br>
<span title="15:05 - 15:16" data-start="00:15:05.199" data-end="00:15:15.815">shit you probably have were spelling so stop fucking hating us different people or just die.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[15:16]</small> <span title="15:16 - 15:26" data-start="00:15:16.136" data-end="00:15:25.952">Okay so I don't what is okay with me good night it's a silent T is necessary yeah that's a silent probably but Emily,</span><br>
<span title="15:26 - 15:39" data-start="00:15:25.958" data-end="00:15:39.482">all right so that was that was one of the posts in the non erotic category there's also a DC Universe story all right off in the top there but this is</span><br>
<span title="15:39 - 15:48" data-start="00:15:39.461" data-end="00:15:47.602">one I've been I've been vying for for a while this document given to us by Seth slimy Rollins who's giving us a couple of them thank you very much.</span><br>
<span title="15:48 - 15:56" data-start="00:15:47.815" data-end="00:15:56.208">Anyway that was the non erotic category we are going to be moving on to the essay category and the first one that we have here is a product review,</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">Trojan Fire And Ice Condoms!: Wtf?</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[15:56]</small> <span title="15:56 - 16:04" data-start="00:15:56.331" data-end="00:16:04.490">so kumquats up oh yes hello this is a product review it looks like there's a product out there in the world you can buy right now with the</span><br>
<span title="16:04 - 16:12" data-start="00:16:04.451" data-end="00:16:12.061">f+ discount code of whatever but but they are called Trojan Fire and Ice condoms now</span><br>
<span title="16:12 - 16:22" data-start="00:16:11.932" data-end="00:16:22.414">I was on the website I didn't I didn't realize George RR Martin was branching out that much yeah you don't have a gig as it explains to me the product has</span><br>
<span title="16:22 - 16:31" data-start="00:16:22.195" data-end="00:16:30.795">like two different lubricants there's an inside one and outside one and the inside lubricant is hot and the outside lubricant is cold now that's the Trojan Icy Hot condoms</span><br>
<span title="16:31 - 16:34" data-start="00:16:30.747" data-end="00:16:34.072">hello it's good those are great.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[16:34]</small> <span title="16:34 - 16:43" data-start="00:16:34.492" data-end="00:16:43.398">So that's what did you think what did you think I'm Kwanzaa well my name is master Vale.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[16:50]</small> <span title="16:50 - 17:02" data-start="00:16:49.886" data-end="00:17:02.348">Levi's Maple unsatisfactory the latest in safe sex leaves author thinking what the fuck.</span><br>
<span title="17:02 - 17:10" data-start="00:17:02.498" data-end="00:17:09.712">Last week I was checking items on the Shelf in the store I work in.</span><br>
<span title="17:10 - 17:18" data-start="00:17:10.168" data-end="00:17:17.940">As I walked along the main Health and Beauty aisle to my surprise a new product Among The Familiar ones.</span><br>
<span title="17:18 - 17:24" data-start="00:17:18.414" data-end="00:17:24.061">That product was the new Trojan Fire and Ice condoms.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[17:25]</small> <span title="17:25 - 17:31" data-start="00:17:24.950" data-end="00:17:31.092">Okay so my first thought immediately was of course.</span><br>
<span title="17:31 - 17:36" data-start="00:17:31.413" data-end="00:17:35.971">What the fuck there was the image of fire.</span><br>
<span title="17:37 - 17:46" data-start="00:17:36.509" data-end="00:17:45.757">Warm PP hot PP happy PP and then there was the image of cold.</span><br>
<span title="17:46 - 17:54" data-start="00:17:46.150" data-end="00:17:53.931">Freezing PP shriveled PP not happy PP does he think condoms are just pissed receptacles.</span><br>
<span title="17:54 - 18:08" data-start="00:17:54.234" data-end="00:18:08.452">I'm sorry is there something else is there some is there something else you use a penis for no no I did okay nevermind lemon I just continue doing as you're doing this person is referring to their penis as a pee-pee</span><br>
<span title="18:08 - 18:17" data-start="00:18:08.386" data-end="00:18:17.157">yeah but yeah well having been in a committed relationship of nearly nine years and married for.</span><br>
<span title="18:18 - 18:24" data-start="00:18:17.505" data-end="00:18:24.449">I have not really had the occasion to buy any condoms I find that they slightly</span><br>
<span title="18:24 - 18:39" data-start="00:18:24.302" data-end="00:18:38.645">hinder the conception process if you know what I mean what is what I find when they do exactly what they're intended to wink wink nudge nudge shit on fucking sex stories.com.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[18:39]</small> <span title="18:39 - 18:48" data-start="00:18:39.255" data-end="00:18:48.017">I find a prophylactic use somehow does what it says it's going to do a nudge and.</span><br>
<span title="18:48 - 18:58" data-start="00:18:48.230" data-end="00:18:57.865">Fact it's been so long since I've used one for me the person that says PP I've almost forgotten what one looks like.</span><br>
<span title="18:58 - 19:10" data-start="00:18:58.015" data-end="00:19:09.514">Wow since smells linger in the memory longer and better than visual things I can remember what latex and spermicide smell like together.</span><br>
<span title="19:10 - 19:13" data-start="00:19:09.754" data-end="00:19:12.692">And when you mix in the sweaty sex</span><br>
<span title="19:13 - 19:26" data-start="00:19:12.599" data-end="00:19:25.592">that just brings back memories of the Haven Dale Drive in and watching Hellbound Hellraiser to you supposed to hang out the back seat of a 76 Mustang</span><br>
<span title="19:26 - 19:38" data-start="00:19:25.544" data-end="00:19:38.339">yeah what's up baby hi could not help but pick up the box and read Lego 76 Mustang Hellraiser to how long is his skull.</span><br>
<span title="19:39 - 19:48" data-start="00:19:38.525" data-end="00:19:48.179">I feel like it's as long as my peepee no longer.</span><br>
<span title="19:49 - 19:58" data-start="00:19:48.698" data-end="00:19:58.297">Hey does that depend head give you any ideas hey baby how about you send a bite me.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[19:59]</small> <span title="19:59 - 20:05" data-start="00:19:59.042" data-end="00:20:05.310">It was slightly intriguing the description on the package included things like.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[20:06]</small> <span title="20:06 - 20:15" data-start="00:20:06.000" data-end="00:20:14.807">Dual action lubricant and warming and tingling Sensations for both.</span><br>
<span title="20:15 - 20:20" data-start="00:20:15.057" data-end="00:20:20.290">Nerves and uniquely shaped</span><br>
<span title="20:20 - 20:35" data-start="00:20:20.179" data-end="00:20:34.748">condom design uniquely like it fits on your deck each one uh when you pull it is different yeah that's was like a hammerhead shark this one's yeah so it's a banana you hope you got a curve.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[20:35]</small> <span title="20:35 - 20:40" data-start="00:20:35.474" data-end="00:20:40.419">There were also promises that these condoms which are lubricated on,</span><br>
<span title="20:40 - 20:55" data-start="00:20:40.452" data-end="00:20:54.697">both sides mind blown up and the bottom provide thrilling sensations of pleather for both partners and.</span><br>
<span title="20:55 - 20:58" data-start="00:20:55.027" data-end="00:20:57.919">Brings more passion and excitement.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[20:58]</small> <span title="20:58 - 21:06" data-start="00:20:58.475" data-end="00:21:06.309">You got a long review here you got a one review what was that want to stop because I want to talk about a cotton that's lubricated on both sides</span><br>
<span title="21:06 - 21:16" data-start="00:21:06.226" data-end="00:21:15.879">yeah and the thrilling sensation and excitement of losing a condom inside of your sex partner that's pretty awesome everybody has long fingers.</span><br>
<span title="21:16 - 21:26" data-start="00:21:16.272" data-end="00:21:25.871">Um hey wait this is a real product yeah that's definitely a dual action lubricant inside and out delivers warming and tingling huh yeah well,</span><br>
<span title="21:26 - 21:29" data-start="00:21:26.004" data-end="00:21:29.292">ice,</span><br>
<span title="21:29 - 21:42" data-start="00:21:29.316" data-end="00:21:41.778">but anyway it would make default e of rubbers yes the mcdlt was it maybe it's reversible you have a lie of a long review here and it's basically you're just sort of like looking at the box and commenting on many many oh yeah</span><br>
<span title="21:42 - 21:46" data-start="00:21:41.730" data-end="00:21:46.388">yeah you can just skip to the part where you do a however ellipses.</span><br>
<span title="21:47 - 21:54" data-start="00:21:46.799" data-end="00:21:54.030">Oh boy will I ever have oh yeah however well however.</span><br>
<span title="21:54 - 22:08" data-start="00:21:54.370" data-end="00:22:08.335">The question remains now are throws just Trojan Fire and Ice being sold free with a pack of Magnums or are they a Trojan Fire and Ice Magnums as well,</span><br>
<span title="22:08 - 22:11" data-start="00:22:08.440" data-end="00:22:11.243">I mean you know if not,</span><br>
<span title="22:11 - 22:20" data-start="00:22:11.267" data-end="00:22:20.461">then there are guys buying these things to try out with their box of Magnums and discovering they do not fit.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[22:21]</small> <span title="22:21 - 22:31" data-start="00:22:21.349" data-end="00:22:30.724">Yeah well right yeah perhaps this is where the lubricant on the inside of the Trojan Fire and Ice condoms</span><br>
<span title="22:31 - 22:40" data-start="00:22:30.631" data-end="00:22:39.519">comes in useful it probably comes to the shoe horn,</span><br>
<span title="22:40 - 22:41" data-start="00:22:39.615" data-end="00:22:40.734">van again</span><br>
<span title="22:41 - 22:51" data-start="00:22:40.731" data-end="00:22:50.988">I can't imagine are you ready for what I can imagine you can imagine one flying off a step 10 inch or that's about 3 inches around as well.</span><br>
<span title="22:51 - 22:57" data-start="00:22:51.390" data-end="00:22:56.560">That's right like a rubber band gun and then happen after penetration was occurring.</span><br>
<span title="22:57 - 23:06" data-start="00:22:56.773" data-end="00:23:06.003">I wonder if it would move with the speed to strike a G-spot with the force of a stepped rubber band how dude this is you</span><br>
<span title="23:06 - 23:18" data-start="00:23:05.830" data-end="00:23:18.175">I heard if you really want to make a girl come that's totally what you do yeah you put it in and then you blink on the energy spot she'll love it Tom oh my God,</span><br>
<span title="23:18 - 23:20" data-start="00:23:18.307" data-end="00:23:20.416">she'll be your slave forever yeah.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[23:23]</small> <span title="23:23 - 23:34" data-start="00:23:22.970" data-end="00:23:33.613">Additionally Cobra it seems so far that nearly no one is wanting to pay for being shorted to condoms it's fair,</span><br>
<span title="23:34 - 23:41" data-start="00:23:33.665" data-end="00:23:40.644">out of the four boxes that come packed together in shipping we only sold one.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[23:42]</small> <span title="23:42 - 23:56" data-start="00:23:41.524" data-end="00:23:56.101">You got one big dong fill in but he works at this condom store yeah yeah oh that's right it's at the beginning sorry for the other three boxes were a skit it sitting empty on the office counter the morning after I discovered</span><br>
<span title="23:56 - 24:00" data-start="00:23:55.963" data-end="00:23:59.900">the existence of such a thing as Trojan</span><br>
<span title="24:00 - 24:09" data-start="00:23:59.825" data-end="00:24:08.884">Fire and Ice the second sleeve disappeared an hour after his put on the shelf and it seems unlikely that we sold out that quickly.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[24:10]</small> <span title="24:10 - 24:16" data-start="00:24:09.926" data-end="00:24:16.248">Now I would have to say that specialty condoms have never been my thing,</span><br>
<span title="24:16 - 24:28" data-start="00:24:16.326" data-end="00:24:27.879">you can say that no and even as time as went on and technology has improved I am still unlikely to give them a try.</span><br>
<span title="24:28 - 24:35" data-start="00:24:28.101" data-end="00:24:35.432">If I ever had to start using them again I know it would be right to the classical Trojan ends,</span><br>
<span title="24:35 - 24:39" data-start="00:24:35.447" data-end="00:24:39.393">in the familiar blue box I believe</span><br>
<span title="24:39 - 24:51" data-start="00:24:39.372" data-end="00:24:50.646">specialty condoms are usually marketed at the Young and daring who ultimately save sex-filled spectacular and of course there's nothing wrong with that</span><br>
<span title="24:51 - 25:00" data-start="00:24:50.643" data-end="00:24:59.846">no no no what I got my I got my palm tattoo that says condom life yeah anyone out there gives them a try</span><br>
<span title="25:00 - 25:04" data-start="00:24:59.753" data-end="00:25:03.735">either store-bought or five finger discount it</span><br>
<span title="25:04 - 25:12" data-start="00:25:03.624" data-end="00:25:11.792">let me know you bought me the product reviewer of this product review on sex stories.com all I did was look at it yeah</span><br>
<span title="25:12 - 25:16" data-start="00:25:11.780" data-end="00:25:16.131">until then I will just Keep On Keepin On.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[25:16]</small> <span title="25:16 - 25:23" data-start="00:25:16.381" data-end="00:25:23.351">But PP keep e keep it on and pretty soon condoms will again be one of the farthest</span><br>
<span title="25:23 - 25:34" data-start="00:25:23.186" data-end="00:25:34.217">things from my mind I just have to say I am glad that Trojan came out with a product other than the female condom which actually.</span><br>
<span title="25:34 - 25:41" data-start="00:25:34.385" data-end="00:25:40.662">We take a pause and think what the fuck yeah alright right on brother here.</span><br>
<span title="25:41 - 25:55" data-start="00:25:40.885" data-end="00:25:54.643">I thought about that email Kanye for the mill condoms you're also probably like the most divisive thing on the site that was my product review did you like my what did you think you know is the products.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[25:55]</small> <span title="25:55 - 26:08" data-start="00:25:54.919" data-end="00:26:07.642">The pros was a little sloppy but what I loved about it was how informative it was you know like you you came from a informed place I thought it was interesting that it was a review of a product that he didn't try</span><br>
<span title="26:08 - 26:09" data-start="00:26:07.549" data-end="00:26:08.885">at all</span><br>
<span title="26:09 - 26:19" data-start="00:26:08.873" data-end="00:26:18.769">he looked at it for a while though though he missed about Hellraiser so that's something he did he did he humble bragged about having sex during Hellraiser to,</span><br>
<span title="26:19 - 26:26" data-start="00:26:18.829" data-end="00:26:26.088">yeah that's normal sure everyone loves cenobites who don't.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">Ace Seduction</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[26:26]</small> <span title="26:26 - 26:32" data-start="00:26:26.337" data-end="00:26:32.318">So that was the product review section but we are now going to move into the educational section,</span><br>
<span title="26:32 - 26:42" data-start="00:26:32.360" data-end="00:26:42.058">this is a seduction by Ace hearts and Lou if you would please tell us how to seduce someone you barely know.</span><br>
<span title="26:42 - 26:48" data-start="00:26:42.226" data-end="00:26:47.621">And then boots if you would be the someone that Lou is seducing okay.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[26:49]</small> <span title="26:49 - 26:55" data-start="00:26:48.807" data-end="00:26:54.787">Ace seduction by Ace of Hearts introduction how to seduce someone you barely know.</span><br>
<span title="26:55 - 27:07" data-start="00:26:55.072" data-end="00:27:07.246">Okay ladies and gentlemen this is Ace the master Seducer but I started out as a complete twat when it came to women a complete twat I barely did more than four girls in high school,</span><br>
<span title="27:07 - 27:15" data-start="00:27:07.387" data-end="00:27:14.826">which is like hi v-- pricey School Missy well anyway I realized what really turned them on,</span><br>
<span title="27:15 - 27:23" data-start="00:27:14.967" data-end="00:27:23.234">wasn't comedy really someone as good-looking as me but someone who was arrogant and funny,</span><br>
<span title="27:23 - 27:33" data-start="00:27:23.258" data-end="00:27:32.984">not a jerk cause he was arrogant not a clown cause he's arrogant and attractive cause he's fun now Chandler in Friends is funny</span><br>
<span title="27:33 - 27:40" data-start="00:27:32.936" data-end="00:27:40.456">but he is not exactly arrogant when but the he is not exactly arrogant but then look this was written in 2004 okay</span><br>
<span title="27:40 - 27:49" data-start="00:27:40.282" data-end="00:27:49.422">look at Neo in The Matrix or John Travolta in face off yeah they're funny fucker now that's something ain't it,</span><br>
<span title="27:50 - 27:55" data-start="00:27:49.509" data-end="00:27:54.904">okay let's let's now let's assume you somehow got a date if you haven't.</span><br>
<span title="27:55 - 28:00" data-start="00:27:55.082" data-end="00:28:00.243">We'll leave some comments indicating wax wrong and maybe I could help.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[28:01]</small> <span title="28:01 - 28:12" data-start="00:28:00.654" data-end="00:28:12.423">Like Antica attend of Indie candy curtain well where was I oh yeah.</span><br>
<span title="28:13 - 28:20" data-start="00:28:12.735" data-end="00:28:20.039">The table at some expensive restaurant and then bam she asked you a question here's the trick don't get carried away.</span><br>
<span title="28:20 - 28:28" data-start="00:28:20.252" data-end="00:28:28.375">Never give her a straight talk let them talk hmm believe me women love to talk and trust me.</span><br>
<span title="28:29 - 28:36" data-start="00:28:28.561" data-end="00:28:36.009">There's just a few guys who really know they should listen oh listen this is their defense mechanism,</span><br>
<span title="28:36 - 28:51" data-start="00:28:36.123" data-end="00:28:50.682">the women the ask questions to test you West that's that's what questions are that test you to see whether you turn into a pussy and start babbling.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[28:51]</small> <span title="28:51 - 28:55" data-start="00:28:50.950" data-end="00:28:55.256">Don't lose your cool have fun purrs and example,</span><br>
<span title="28:55 - 29:08" data-start="00:28:55.397" data-end="00:29:07.859">women are testing you every time they are talking to you see if you feel magically poof into a pussy and I think this is especially this is not a misspelling it's hers hers an example.</span><br>
<span title="29:08 - 29:18" data-start="00:29:08.063" data-end="00:29:17.581">She asks you why the hell you don't give her a straight answer I really love fooling around and chatting around.</span><br>
<span title="29:18 - 29:27" data-start="00:29:17.848" data-end="00:29:26.637">But I don't like it if I never get answers to just normal not Indiscreet questions industry problem,</span><br>
<span title="29:27 - 29:31" data-start="00:29:26.770" data-end="00:29:31.193">Indiscreet mmm ask whatever questions you want.</span><br>
<span title="29:31 - 29:42" data-start="00:29:31.379" data-end="00:29:42.247">You'll get to know me as it goes I already did and you don't have to list I forgot which parts were which hey,</span><br>
<span title="29:42 - 29:45" data-start="00:29:42.371" data-end="00:29:45.425">for some reason</span><br>
<span title="29:45 - 29:59" data-start="00:29:45.233" data-end="00:29:59.460">the rest of his own me yeah it's a piece of dialogue I have reach it by himself eventually this girl speaks of shit who cares to listen to,</span><br>
<span title="30:00 - 30:09" data-start="00:29:59.574" data-end="00:30:09.029">and I don't have a list to write that down I just noticed that last time when you called me on the phone and today to every time I ask something about your past I get a slapstick answer.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[30:11]</small> <span title="30:11 - 30:16" data-start="00:30:10.566" data-end="00:30:15.628">Don't mind it that's how I talk I'm playful but we'll get to know each other as we go along,</span><br>
<span title="30:16 - 30:26" data-start="00:30:15.670" data-end="00:30:26.458">it's a natural process you can't force she and it's a good thing you're not babbling okay you gave in when she started complaining and said.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[30:27]</small> <span title="30:27 - 30:31" data-start="00:30:27.220" data-end="00:30:31.283">Don't mind me laugh how I that's how I talk don't interrupt.</span><br>
<span title="30:31 - 30:46" data-start="00:30:31.433" data-end="00:30:45.803">I'm sorry boots I'm sorry don't mind me I'm actually kind of a wimp and that's how I talk are you with me here you don't need to explain yourself or make an excuse for yourself,</span><br>
<span title="30:46 - 30:55" data-start="00:30:45.882" data-end="00:30:55.454">what I'm trying to say is that you are that you are the problem here not the woman who complain about you not answering their questions try this instead.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[30:57]</small> <span title="30:57 - 31:06" data-start="00:30:56.666" data-end="00:31:05.761">I already did and I don't have a list to write that down I just noticed that last time when you called me on the phone.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[31:07]</small> <span title="31:07 - 31:08" data-start="00:31:06.560" data-end="00:31:07.967">And today too.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[31:09]</small> <span title="31:09 - 31:23" data-start="00:31:08.891" data-end="00:31:22.731">Every time I ask something about your past I get a slapstick hand sir wait wait wait is there a new guy there was a you last last time that was me but let this time it is her okay</span><br>
<span title="31:23 - 31:28" data-start="00:31:22.557" data-end="00:31:28.312">me this is.</span><br>
<span title="31:29 - 31:37" data-start="00:31:28.642" data-end="00:31:37.386">This is Well written me I'm glad you like it maybe that's why you keep messaging me and thinking about me so much,</span><br>
<span title="31:38 - 31:49" data-start="00:31:37.501" data-end="00:31:48.783">see the difference here you must remember that attractive women are being approached all the time in one way or another just about every man they meet tries to pick them up or come on to them.</span><br>
<span title="31:49 - 31:51" data-start="00:31:48.960" data-end="00:31:51.358">Women can feel this happening</span><br>
<span title="31:51 - 32:06" data-start="00:31:51.238" data-end="00:32:05.960">yes so so the example of hitting on a girl is that you're already having conversations like you're already having a phone conversation where she me seems beleaguered and tired this is an expensive present rule shit this for you hitting on your cousin.</span><br>
<span title="32:06 - 32:08" data-start="00:32:06.245" data-end="00:32:07.823">Tell spouse my uncle.</span><br>
<span title="32:08 - 32:17" data-start="00:32:08.099" data-end="00:32:17.347">Now if a woman is available she must figure out a way to separate the men from the boys.</span><br>
<span title="32:18 - 32:23" data-start="00:32:17.552" data-end="00:32:23.226">So to speak and figure out if a particular man is going to be worth her time enter.</span><br>
<span title="32:23 - 32:32" data-start="00:32:23.475" data-end="00:32:32.282">The test also if a woman attractive woman is out on a date with a man or having a phone conversation Etc.</span><br>
<span title="32:32 - 32:36" data-start="00:32:32.477" data-end="00:32:36.189">Or anything else that could be perceived as taking things to the next level.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[32:37]</small> <span title="32:37 - 32:42" data-start="00:32:37.213" data-end="00:32:42.482">B Etc she must find out quickly whether the particular guy is one.</span><br>
<span title="32:43 - 32:49" data-start="00:32:42.704" data-end="00:32:48.549">Long-term relationship material to short term Affair material 3.</span><br>
<span title="32:49 - 32:59" data-start="00:32:48.997" data-end="00:32:58.947">Friend material for was material that's my stomach tattoo 5 the Gimp from Pulp Fiction,</span><br>
<span title="32:59 - 33:09" data-start="00:32:59.016" data-end="00:33:08.570">it's topical references if you feel like I feel like if he was the game from Pulp Fiction he be able to figure it out pretty quickly why don't you talk to me.</span><br>
<span title="33:09 - 33:18" data-start="00:33:09.162" data-end="00:33:17.636">Where do you keep mumbling through the mask keep in mind an attractive woman has her as a lot of spend of options,</span><br>
<span title="33:18 - 33:27" data-start="00:33:17.732" data-end="00:33:27.313">she's being approached probably hundreds of times a month with date offers Etc and could never hope to spend a small fraction of her time with all the men who are interested in her.</span><br>
<span title="33:27 - 33:35" data-start="00:33:27.490" data-end="00:33:35.289">She must use tests to quickly cut to the Chase and find out what a particularly particular guy is really all about.</span><br>
<span title="33:36 - 33:39" data-start="00:33:35.583" data-end="00:33:39.124">Tests and take many forms here are common ones one.</span><br>
<span title="33:40 - 33:47" data-start="00:33:39.787" data-end="00:33:47.271">Canceling plans with little notice or flaking out entirely without notice to.</span><br>
<span title="33:48 - 33:51" data-start="00:33:47.538" data-end="00:33:50.881">Asking for gifts or favors outright.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[33:52]</small> <span title="33:52 - 33:58" data-start="00:33:51.607" data-end="00:33:57.822">I keep getting these PM's from her on seeking arrangements.com and she just wants free shit.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[33:59]</small> <span title="33:59 - 34:06" data-start="00:33:58.521" data-end="00:34:06.140">Three acting snotty demanding dramatic or manipulating manipulative to see if you'll put up with it.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[34:08]</small> <span title="34:08 - 34:12" data-start="00:34:07.640" data-end="00:34:12.126">For asking or telling you to change your behavior.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[34:13]</small> <span title="34:13 - 34:19" data-start="00:34:12.862" data-end="00:34:19.175">Five threatening to leave or take her attention and give it to someone else if you don't comply with her wishes.</span><br>
<span title="34:19 - 34:29" data-start="00:34:19.487" data-end="00:34:28.628">And the list goes on the what did you write it down so well you get my foot then ball.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[34:29]</small> <span title="34:29 - 34:33" data-start="00:34:29.219" data-end="00:34:33.453">Hope you have a good weekend.</span><br>
<span title="34:34 - 34:48" data-start="00:34:33.981" data-end="00:34:48.117">Is Bo L an acronym I don't know if you get my point the Manute Bol to you that's a guy that is a very topical reference,</span><br>
<span title="34:48 - 34:54" data-start="00:34:48.232" data-end="00:34:54.374">Pol bill of lading,</span><br>
<span title="34:54 - 35:05" data-start="00:34:54.398" data-end="00:35:05.132">bill of lading yep that was the essay section I think we've learned a lot about a seduction by Ace Hearts this might be your sort of manuscript that you sent out to publishers.</span><br>
<span title="35:06 - 35:16" data-start="00:35:05.606" data-end="00:35:16.024">But yeah so we're gonna we're gonna go past that our next section here that we have in the doc thanks again says slimy Rollins is called the information section and,</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">How To Tell Your Wife You Watch Porn</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[35:16]</small> <span title="35:16 - 35:17" data-start="00:35:16.094" data-end="00:35:17.222">Bunny Bread,</span><br>
<span title="35:17 - 35:31" data-start="00:35:17.282" data-end="00:35:30.563">mmm you know what I don't even have a lead in for you at all I don't want to give anything away it's good I just want you to inform us and our listeners about a matter of importance okay.</span><br>
<span title="35:31 - 35:45" data-start="00:35:30.713" data-end="00:35:45.075">All right folks simmer down simmer down hey you in the back yes it up Jimmy Frank stop it all right Jimmy Frank's stop me first no don't even go near the slide whistle to be Frank this is not funny shit this is important such a troublemaker so loud Jimmy Franks,</span><br>
<span title="35:47 - 35:57" data-start="00:35:46.656" data-end="00:35:56.742">origin when I've gathered you here to talk about something something that affects you me everyone how to tell your wife you watch porn by Ed Longshanks.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[35:57]</small> <span title="35:57 - 36:04" data-start="00:35:57.396" data-end="00:36:04.042">Thank that Longshanks you're welcome my mid legs Longshanks you could just say thanks me thanks Bunny Bread that's my code.</span><br>
<span title="36:04 - 36:16" data-start="00:36:04.418" data-end="00:36:16.349">Introduction you want to stop sneaking around with porn and just come out of the closet that's what that means that's the original meaning of that is it yeah well you're doing it wrong stupid I'm sorry all right.</span><br>
<span title="36:17 - 36:21" data-start="00:36:16.706" data-end="00:36:21.345">Anyways at my blog on erotic Christian.com.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[36:21]</small> <span title="36:21 - 36:26" data-start="00:36:21.200" data-end="00:36:26.480">Music.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[36:26]</small> <span title="36:26 - 36:32" data-start="00:36:26.473" data-end="00:36:31.544">Bye everybody no you stay right there that still exist guess what document I.</span><br>
<span title="36:32 - 36:40" data-start="00:36:31.992" data-end="00:36:40.466">Be receiving in about a witness that up anymore it's gone it's not up anymore archives and now neither am I.</span><br>
<span title="36:41 - 36:47" data-start="00:36:40.706" data-end="00:36:46.965">You all right a Christian dot edu is still up.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[36:48]</small> <span title="36:48 - 36:51" data-start="00:36:47.953" data-end="00:36:51.322">If anyone has questions right goddamn there.</span><br>
<span title="36:52 - 37:05" data-start="00:36:51.689" data-end="00:37:05.285">We're going to talk about you and your problem anyways have my blowing it a rock they run it Christian.com I defend the idea that Christian men have do and should use porn whatever they want sure however.</span><br>
<span title="37:05 - 37:18" data-start="00:37:05.444" data-end="00:37:18.203">Absolutely they should however however to do this their wives are going to have to get on board in this article I described how I got my wife on board and how she now watches it with me.</span><br>
<span title="37:18 - 37:27" data-start="00:37:18.407" data-end="00:37:26.611">See now you're listening aren't you spoiled it yeah those of you that wives have you ever murdered already.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[37:29]</small> <span title="37:29 - 37:43" data-start="00:37:29.390" data-end="00:37:42.690">I'm just trying to be I'm just trying to find an archive.org fetch of erotic Christian.com I got there I tried that this is gold right here this is I this is the Pinnacle of the Christian achievement I have more anyway,</span><br>
<span title="37:43 - 37:54" data-start="00:37:42.831" data-end="00:37:54.239">several times a day at the link below I have references to other articles and pictures here is some other shit talking about porn with your wife so you have used porn for years secretly.</span><br>
<span title="37:54 - 38:04" data-start="00:37:54.399" data-end="00:38:03.818">Your wife is caught you a few times and you sincerely promise to never do it again but but unfortunately a few weeks or months later.</span><br>
<span title="38:04 - 38:13" data-start="00:38:03.986" data-end="00:38:13.333">You saw a link and well there you were you know how those links just appear you know those lights then like always link it around.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[38:15]</small> <span title="38:15 - 38:23" data-start="00:38:15.167" data-end="00:38:23.047">Then then you started wondering why all men look at porn no matter how religious Christian or sincere they are.</span><br>
<span title="38:24 - 38:38" data-start="00:38:23.692" data-end="00:38:38.116">Those are the three categories of people what if the reason you keep doing it again is because God never intended you to stop oh there we go yeah now we're thinking there is no way of Escape</span><br>
<span title="38:38 - 38:42" data-start="00:38:38.042" data-end="00:38:42.456">because there is no temptation so.</span><br>
<span title="38:43 - 38:52" data-start="00:38:42.669" data-end="00:38:52.097">Hmm you want your wife to understand and fantasy maybe even join you here's what I did I am a psychiatrist</span><br>
<span title="38:52 - 39:02" data-start="00:38:52.040" data-end="00:39:01.918">and and and the artist and the Art of Psychiatry is the skill of getting people to act in their own best interest even when they don't want to</span><br>
<span title="39:02 - 39:08" data-start="00:39:01.772" data-end="00:39:07.662">we do this by realizing their perceptual distortions and helping them overcome them</span><br>
<span title="39:08 - 39:16" data-start="00:39:07.659" data-end="00:39:15.503">that's what psychiatrists do they get 60 watts what gaslighting yeah yeah yeah that's what I said.</span><br>
<span title="39:16 - 39:22" data-start="00:39:15.824" data-end="00:39:22.390">Everyone not just skin so brenes we're not just speaking of schizophrenic this time.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[39:23]</small> <span title="39:23 - 39:33" data-start="00:39:22.972" data-end="00:39:33.156">Everyone have perceptual distortions remember when we used to read comic strips mmm I know dinosaur age.</span><br>
<span title="39:33 - 39:38" data-start="00:39:33.333" data-end="00:39:37.540">Anyways Kathy she had a perceptual Distortion about her weight.</span><br>
<span title="39:38 - 39:47" data-start="00:39:37.700" data-end="00:39:47.236">Much like an anorexic sees a fat girl in the mirror now you think that only sick people think that way but you were wrong everyone does this,</span><br>
<span title="39:47 - 40:01" data-start="00:39:47.386" data-end="00:40:01.396">I recently got a haircut for instance and the hair falling in my lap was gray this is strange because the hair I see in the mirror is brown I have to actually cut off a piece and look at it after my head before I can perceive its true color,</span><br>
<span title="40:01 - 40:03" data-start="00:40:01.412" data-end="00:40:03.206">I once died,</span><br>
<span title="40:03 - 40:12" data-start="00:40:03.302" data-end="00:40:11.911">oh I did I did anyways I went to heaven I once died,</span><br>
<span title="40:12 - 40:24" data-start="00:40:12.034" data-end="00:40:23.956">I spoke to God he said watch more smart much more Powers I once died it and it was disappointed because it didn't change color in my mirror while everyone else was rolling their eyes,</span><br>
<span title="40:24 - 40:34" data-start="00:40:24.016" data-end="00:40:33.741">so your wife thinks that she is fat and ugly when she looks in the mirror her baby stretch marks stand out like beacons her breasts sag like a tribal woman in National Geographic.</span><br>
<span title="40:34 - 40:45" data-start="00:40:33.946" data-end="00:40:45.174">Her hair is a straggly Miss of gray that should be convinced a convicted in the Salem Witch Trials this guy's wife is a monster and what is disgusting,</span><br>
<span title="40:45 - 40:50" data-start="00:40:45.271" data-end="00:40:49.702">that's good.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[40:50]</small> <span title="40:50 - 41:00" data-start="00:40:49.979" data-end="00:40:59.650">I don't know the less said about her but the better II love her but a discussion volume 3 get some really disgusting but sin that one.</span><br>
<span title="41:00 - 41:12" data-start="00:40:59.827" data-end="00:41:12.325">Now you don't see her that way or you shouldn't if you do then some family counseling is an order that's a family ask counseling is a yeah we're in a later post you see her through Eyes Of Love.</span><br>
<span title="41:13 - 41:24" data-start="00:41:12.700" data-end="00:41:24.226">Those stretch marks are from your babies that nursed at those lovely titties you have mounted that but with joy uncountable times that disgusting beautiful but disgusting but.</span><br>
<span title="41:24 - 41:31" data-start="00:41:24.484" data-end="00:41:30.753">This is one of Mount Your but with joy.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[41:32]</small> <span title="41:32 - 41:39" data-start="00:41:31.965" data-end="00:41:39.179">This is why your wife Joy has a strap-on she's a next door neighbor.</span><br>
<span title="41:40 - 41:47" data-start="00:41:39.860" data-end="00:41:46.723">This is why your wife has such a violent literally sometimes reaction to the thought of you looking at porn,</span><br>
<span title="41:47 - 42:00" data-start="00:41:46.756" data-end="00:41:59.704">she thinks that you are wishing to be out of your marriage team be able to hit that as they say she thinks that you are lusting in your heart that you want to sneak off and get you a piece of that pretty young just like Jimmy Carter,</span><br>
<span title="42:00 - 42:01" data-start="00:41:59.746" data-end="00:42:01.217">just like Jimmy Carter</span><br>
<span title="42:01 - 42:11" data-start="00:42:01.214" data-end="00:42:11.209">wow you were thinking that to your job is to get her to see a 1978 Jimmy Carter did a Playboy interview.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[42:12]</small> <span title="42:12 - 42:20" data-start="00:42:12.169" data-end="00:42:19.761">This is true well I don't know when this was written but maybe no no he I know what it feels true for me,</span><br>
<span title="42:20 - 42:28" data-start="00:42:19.794" data-end="00:42:27.521">your job is mitad in the Playboy interview that he had lusted in his heart yeah but not acting upon that lust and at this point</span><br>
<span title="42:27 - 42:40" data-start="00:42:27.464" data-end="00:42:39.647">that was a scandal it's the acting president said that he lusted in his heart in a Playboy interview and people made a deal out of it if a Democrat</span><br>
<span title="42:40 - 42:47" data-start="00:42:39.500" data-end="00:42:46.579">like if yeah if I'd been elected Democratic president said that now would also be a deal oh that is true actually I'm Excuse me.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">[Correction: Jimmy Carter, 1976]</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[42:48]</small> <span title="42:48 - 42:52" data-start="00:42:47.530" data-end="00:42:52.313">High lemon here with a quick correction.</span><br>
<span title="42:53 - 43:02" data-start="00:42:52.788" data-end="00:43:02.234">The Playboy interview were referring to here actually took place in 1976 when then candidate Jimmy Carter had yet to win his election against Gerald Ford.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[43:03]</small> <span title="43:03 - 43:13" data-start="00:43:03.023" data-end="00:43:13.127">In the interview Carter opined for pages on morality and religion and he distinguished sins such as drug use and sodomy from crimes such as theft and perjury.</span><br>
<span title="43:13 - 43:19" data-start="00:43:13.466" data-end="00:43:18.564">And he said that the government's role should only be to legislate on matters when they negatively affect other.</span><br>
<span title="43:19 - 43:24" data-start="00:43:19.011" data-end="00:43:23.578">Matters beyond that he felt were between that person and their God.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[43:24]</small> <span title="43:24 - 43:32" data-start="00:43:24.467" data-end="00:43:32.158">He said specifically that adults where he does have victims and then quoting the Bible confess that he had quote committed adultery in his heart.</span><br>
<span title="43:33 - 43:35" data-start="00:43:32.551" data-end="00:43:34.939">Meaning that he had found other women sexy.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[43:36]</small> <span title="43:36 - 43:44" data-start="00:43:35.936" data-end="00:43:44.481">And it was that specific quote that caused a genuine Scandal and Evangelical Christian stated that now they had no choice but to support the guy.</span><br>
<span title="43:45 - 43:54" data-start="00:43:44.677" data-end="00:43:54.105">Pardon Nixon for any and all crimes committed against the United States
anyway let's get back to the episode just stopping in to say twas ever thus.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[43:56]</small> <span title="43:56 - 44:03" data-start="00:43:56.110" data-end="00:44:03.305">Anyways let's let's stop talking about Democrats and make me sick as a Christian your job your job is to get her to see it through another lens,</span><br>
<span title="44:03 - 44:16" data-start="00:44:03.383" data-end="00:44:15.971">through the lens of a romantic chick flicks on the Hallmark Channel When dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and Sully make out is she thinking oh I wish I could kiss that manly Tomahawk wielding hunter in buckskins with long wavy hair no</span><br>
<span title="44:16 - 44:19" data-start="00:44:15.960" data-end="00:44:19.338">of course not women don't want men</span><br>
<span title="44:19 - 44:27" data-start="00:44:19.272" data-end="00:44:26.612">all right she was seeing herself as dr. Quinn and you were her Sully that is why you take her to the theater and sit through rom-coms right,</span><br>
<span title="44:27 - 44:32" data-start="00:44:26.654" data-end="00:44:32.320">through the sex afterwards yeah I know you do and you know you do</span><br>
<span title="44:32 - 44:44" data-start="00:44:32.308" data-end="00:44:43.618">feel like your relationship with women might be different than mine shut up okay okay sorry shut up I said okay so in this feminized Society oh yeah we're getting there.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[44:44]</small> <span title="44:44 - 44:53" data-start="00:44:43.984" data-end="00:44:53.466">Some of this family dies feminazi Society we're masculinity is hated and normal man's erotic desires are despised</span><br>
<span title="44:53 - 45:01" data-start="00:44:53.382" data-end="00:45:00.569">how do you convince your wife to go against the Christian culture that pervades your life here we go here we go what now,</span><br>
<span title="45:01 - 45:13" data-start="00:45:00.638" data-end="00:45:13.361">first things first don't try to argue your side that will only lead to many long arguments which you may or may not win depending upon your marriage Dynamics look at how many cock she is in her fucking amazing.</span><br>
<span title="45:14 - 45:21" data-start="00:45:13.709" data-end="00:45:21.337">You need to tell me how you see her well not giving up your masculinity understood.</span><br>
<span title="45:22 - 45:27" data-start="00:45:21.694" data-end="00:45:26.801">No right for example let's say that your wife is watch Game of Thrones with you.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[45:27]</small> <span title="45:27 - 45:33" data-start="00:45:27.303" data-end="00:45:32.878">All right yeah she has problems with poured Game of Thrones is fine okay sure,</span><br>
<span title="45:33 - 45:46" data-start="00:45:32.920" data-end="00:45:45.877">during even though she makes you fast-forward through the good parts hypothetically hypothetically episode 2 of you're watching Game of Thrones do are you watching Game of Thrones and you're like listen if there's like murder or like tits</span><br>
<span title="45:46 - 45:53" data-start="00:45:45.838" data-end="00:45:53.421">or like I had tumors that if any incest happens in the show let's make sure to fast-forward that part yeah because it will get worse from there</span><br>
<span title="45:53 - 46:01" data-start="00:45:53.373" data-end="00:46:01.397">the credit sequence is beautiful yeah do the most a TiVo pass this to whoever is next at HBO weird,</span><br>
<span title="46:01 - 46:13" data-start="00:46:01.493" data-end="00:46:12.857">anyway whoa Sesame Street okay in a moment of casual nudity stare at her breasts for a long time lick your lips lay with a nipple.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[46:13]</small> <span title="46:13 - 46:23" data-start="00:46:13.178" data-end="00:46:22.796">Not necessarily yours or hers it could be that you've collected Source a nipple yeah just baby bottles nipples and say,</span><br>
<span title="46:23 - 46:28" data-start="00:46:22.901" data-end="00:46:28.485">you know you look like Daenerys Stormborn but with lots bigger boobies</span><br>
<span title="46:28 - 46:39" data-start="00:46:28.392" data-end="00:46:38.739">oh my God this guy's the verbal foreplay is baby can I say that entire sentence without her sucking my dick yeah but you owe me a quarter every time you do</span><br>
<span title="46:39 - 46:47" data-start="00:46:38.700" data-end="00:46:47.237">now you are going to get a rise out of her it's just science that she is going to ask you what you were doing looking at Danny's tits</span><br>
<span title="46:47 - 47:00" data-start="00:46:47.198" data-end="00:46:59.957">you reply hey um a guy baby I like titties want to make love that's what guys yes yes yes hey I'm a guy I like titties she will want to make love.</span><br>
<span title="47:00 - 47:08" data-start="00:47:00.161" data-end="00:47:08.320">Watch that cities will make love read my 5 step guide and how to become chemically castrated the sale of.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[47:09]</small> <span title="47:09 - 47:18" data-start="00:47:09.298" data-end="00:47:17.547">All right she'll continue my favorite Rammstein song I'm a guy I like the titties.</span><br>
<span title="47:18 - 47:21" data-start="00:47:17.778" data-end="00:47:20.761">Nine let's make love.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[47:22]</small> <span title="47:22 - 47:33" data-start="00:47:21.505" data-end="00:47:32.788">Let's make love in silent she'll continue to argue you just keep touching her and telling her how turned on she makes you and asking for immediate sex yeah</span><br>
<span title="47:33 - 47:38" data-start="00:47:32.749" data-end="00:47:38.370">I would like the sex immediate I'm Hans the sex right now.</span><br>
<span title="47:39 - 47:45" data-start="00:47:38.556" data-end="00:47:45.067">You are turned on it is happening.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[47:46]</small> <span title="47:46 - 47:51" data-start="00:47:46.253" data-end="00:47:51.198">Nine tell her that you were a man show her your erection</span><br>
<span title="47:51 - 48:05" data-start="00:47:51.060" data-end="00:48:04.782">and prove it what direction to say if this show it then prove it yeah this is mine there is the proof did we hit the thumb prints of your dick,</span><br>
<span title="48:05 - 48:12" data-start="00:48:04.833" data-end="00:48:11.903">it's like it's a literal point to schlong is it that my sleeves hasn't been signed and numbered yeah.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[48:12]</small> <span title="48:12 - 48:22" data-start="00:48:12.332" data-end="00:48:21.598">Giving it up this is getting here you're gonna barcode on mind your best and your honor I'd like to enter this direction into evidence,</span><br>
<span title="48:22 - 48:31" data-start="00:48:21.623" data-end="00:48:30.655">I take it out of evidence,</span><br>
<span title="48:34 - 48:42" data-start="00:48:33.506" data-end="00:48:42.097">all right so are your reacts it right direction then prove it even if this ends with I'm not having sex with you if you were thinking about other women.</span><br>
<span title="48:42 - 48:45" data-start="00:48:42.364" data-end="00:48:45.400">You've started making your point that's me</span><br>
<span title="48:45 - 48:58" data-start="00:48:45.398" data-end="00:48:57.931">all right yeah it's your boy yeah I think about other women then a few days later sometime after great sex during the cuddling you say well how long do you care yeah on the third day of cuddling</span><br>
<span title="48:58 - 49:05" data-start="00:48:57.920" data-end="00:49:04.521">yeah you better brace yourself and make sure that you have to go to work God damn it never.</span><br>
<span title="49:05 - 49:19" data-start="00:49:04.788" data-end="00:49:19.168">Oh this is cuddling you say God that was hot I just feel like I fucked insert for famous porn actress named nice who is that she's a porn star yeah yeah yeah.</span><br>
<span title="49:19 - 49:27" data-start="00:49:19.336" data-end="00:49:26.667">Yes she is going to hit you be prepared you're playing the long game here she is going to be mad that you just confessed to watching porn.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[49:27]</small> <span title="49:27 - 49:37" data-start="00:49:27.132" data-end="00:49:36.785">Make sure that you are prepared to not get mad don't raise your voice you are going to be tempted to but don't do it control the line yes your line is</span><br>
<span title="49:37 - 49:50" data-start="00:49:36.782" data-end="00:49:49.613">I'm a guy aren't you glad that I'm a man and I like girls I sure like you you turn me on and I love having the sex with you you're the only pornstar that I've ever made love to on the plus side baby</span><br>
<span title="49:50 - 49:53" data-start="00:49:49.593" data-end="00:49:52.863">wow that another hetero man exists yeah.</span><br>
<span title="49:53 - 50:01" data-start="00:49:53.257" data-end="00:50:00.578">You might you might even ask her you're so hot I can I take some pictures of you to beat off to you when I'm at work.</span><br>
<span title="50:01 - 50:06" data-start="00:50:00.746" data-end="00:50:06.295">She if she's slutty yeah okay when you're at work yeah.</span><br>
<span title="50:06 - 50:17" data-start="00:50:06.499" data-end="00:50:16.737">You're not going to keep that greeting job for very long.</span><br>
<span title="50:17 - 50:22" data-start="00:50:17.077" data-end="00:50:21.860">Wait wait till you get on the bus like the rest of us,</span><br>
<span title="50:22 - 50:28" data-start="00:50:21.884" data-end="00:50:27.747">yeah well maybe she might not want you to look at pictures of her while I beat off the bus be like</span><br>
<span title="50:28 - 50:41" data-start="00:50:27.636" data-end="00:50:40.638">if look look Greg the word is this the state unemployment office says I get a a federally mandated 15-minute jerk break every shift,</span><br>
<span title="50:41 - 50:48" data-start="00:50:40.672" data-end="00:50:47.822">look I don't smoke I tell you what I do though.</span><br>
<span title="50:48 - 50:54" data-start="00:50:47.981" data-end="00:50:54.394">We all got vices this one says my fucking lungs you're welcome all right.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[50:55]</small> <span title="50:55 - 51:04" data-start="00:50:54.724" data-end="00:51:03.738">If she lets you do this then make sure and call her from work and tell her that you are jacking off to her pictures.</span><br>
<span title="51:04 - 51:09" data-start="00:51:03.906" data-end="00:51:09.121">She has a problem with porn but not to that well call her at work welcome to Wendy's hi honey,</span><br>
<span title="51:09 - 51:22" data-start="00:51:09.128" data-end="00:51:21.905">this is a very specific chain of events that have to happen in a very specific and precise way that's the me gas-lit in very strange ways but be offended by other things.</span><br>
<span title="51:22 - 51:28" data-start="00:51:22.199" data-end="00:51:28.134">Anyways her line of attack will be to try to get you to promise to stop pouring all of it tell her.</span><br>
<span title="51:28 - 51:41" data-start="00:51:28.330" data-end="00:51:40.756">Tell her that you will try to stop if that's what she would demands but then he say that your nose and you know that you will just do it again no matter how hard you try,</span><br>
<span title="51:41 - 51:55" data-start="00:51:40.780" data-end="00:51:54.907">there you go yeah I will try to stop but I will fail do you want me to try to stop very good very good kid ourselves I'm lying she will try to get you to get help from mindfulness or</span><br>
<span title="51:55 - 52:04" data-start="00:51:54.778" data-end="00:52:04.125">porn addiction snake oil experts like Gary Wilson but Gary Wilson wow fucking game Wilson fast boy you got a dick.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[52:04]</small> <span title="52:04 - 52:08" data-start="00:52:04.438" data-end="00:52:07.834">I'm really like I'm really glad I bought this</span><br>
<span title="52:08 - 52:20" data-start="00:52:07.741" data-end="00:52:19.897">gaslighting for complete fucking idiots but with Intro by Gary Wilson seems like an unlikely pairing but it works,</span><br>
<span title="52:22 - 52:40" data-start="00:52:22.145" data-end="00:52:40.332">this this is your Line in the Sand tell her these guys are doing just as much porn as anyone else and they are not experienced over there those guys are doing poured over there a reason why they don't jerk off into a discos are numb to it what would the drugs in the hitting</span><br>
<span title="52:40 - 52:42" data-start="00:52:40.177" data-end="00:52:42.106">the pulling of the hair,</span><br>
<span title="52:57 - 53:05" data-start="00:52:57.101" data-end="00:53:05.188">tell her these guys are doing just as much poured is anyone else and they are not experts and do not have a cure</span><br>
<span title="53:05 - 53:11" data-start="00:53:05.095" data-end="00:53:10.769">and then drop it and return to tell Yer how sexy she is</span><br>
<span title="53:11 - 53:22" data-start="00:53:10.541" data-end="00:53:21.851">and maybe you need to drain your balls a little bit more with her since she is turning you on and that's what yeah baby shut up you ain't his fuckable when you're talking.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[53:22]</small> <span title="53:22 - 53:35" data-start="00:53:22.109" data-end="00:53:35.165">All your jaw flapping just makes me wanna damn want to shove a dick in that mouth to keep it from moving all the way you complain about my porn it's getting me so hot.</span><br>
<span title="53:35 - 53:40" data-start="00:53:35.325" data-end="00:53:39.838">Bring it up divorce lawyers who baby it's throbbing now,</span><br>
<span title="53:40 - 53:47" data-start="00:53:39.862" data-end="00:53:47.282">now you used a porn actresses name on purpose that rain is going to drive her nuts</span><br>
<span title="53:47 - 53:56" data-start="00:53:47.208" data-end="00:53:55.582">she is going to look that name up and watch it guarantee if that's what's gonna happen yo who who is Peter North</span><br>
<span title="53:55 - 54:06" data-start="00:53:55.499" data-end="00:54:06.268">I hope that you didn't use a name of someone you actually liked because even after you win that day that actress is going to be off the table,</span><br>
<span title="54:06 - 54:11" data-start="00:54:06.337" data-end="00:54:10.688">you can no longer jerk off to that actress she won't say Yes okay yeah,</span><br>
<span title="54:11 - 54:19" data-start="00:54:10.775" data-end="00:54:18.682">you won't be able to watch anything with her in it ever again okay by Peter North goodbye people's.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[54:21]</small> <span title="54:21 - 54:26" data-start="00:54:20.723" data-end="00:54:25.947">Okay yes I may have made that mistake maybe relatable yeah,</span><br>
<span title="54:26 - 54:40" data-start="00:54:26.079" data-end="00:54:39.649">so this argument is going to go on for weeks and months Hold the Line without getting mad your line is that God made you like this on the seventh day he created gape,</span><br>
<span title="54:40 - 54:47" data-start="00:54:39.763" data-end="00:54:47.264">it's a lot of people thought he rested,</span><br>
<span title="54:47 - 54:58" data-start="00:54:47.406" data-end="00:54:57.986">incorrect Erie between took one last moment to stick to just make someone's asshole like three inches across.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[55:03]</small> <span title="55:03 - 55:09" data-start="00:55:02.593" data-end="00:55:09.248">Christian dot Brazzers dotnet
it was nice up to me.</span><br>
<span title="55:10 - 55:18" data-start="00:55:09.551" data-end="00:55:18.295">Yeah uh-huh anyways you like looking at naked women you are a man it isn't she glad of that.</span><br>
<span title="55:18 - 55:33" data-start="00:55:18.482" data-end="00:55:32.789">And the ultimate argument Terminator she is turning you all by talking about sex this way let's go to bed bitch oh yeah this is a 72 percent positive rating.</span><br>
<span title="55:33 - 55:42" data-start="00:55:33.263" data-end="00:55:41.629">Hey Works goddamn it this is boot 72% of use it 12,000 men I really got help from this.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[55:43]</small> <span title="55:43 - 55:51" data-start="00:55:42.680" data-end="00:55:51.406">I mean Heaven yeah Christianity nice nice nice here plus every question yeah you guys like to laugh.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">Sex Jokes By The Porn Joker</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[55:52]</small> <span title="55:52 - 55:58" data-start="00:55:51.583" data-end="00:55:58.166">No no okay I do I know in the likes to laugh oh there's always one.</span><br>
<span title="55:58 - 56:10" data-start="00:55:58.362" data-end="00:56:09.644">Like to laugh the Hillman well this is exciting so this is a section in the document called sex jokes so good I love jokes I love sex,</span><br>
<span title="56:10 - 56:18" data-start="00:56:09.749" data-end="00:56:18.043">I love sexy jokes loves sex and jokes sex jokes and stick stories.com here we go my name is the porn Joker</span><br>
<span title="56:18 - 56:26" data-start="00:56:17.824" data-end="00:56:25.596">and here's a sex joke porn Joker yeah well there was a poor and Joker okay so this is called blonde needs to call Mom and Poland</span><br>
<span title="56:26 - 56:34" data-start="00:56:25.548" data-end="00:56:33.833">okay alright here we go here we go it's real straightforward really really straight for it's it's it's setup punchline that's all there is,</span><br>
<span title="56:34 - 56:46" data-start="00:56:33.876" data-end="00:56:45.860">a blonde goes into a worldwide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland when the man tells her I'll be $300 she exclaims I don't have any money but I would do anything to get a message to my mother and.</span><br>
<span title="56:46 - 56:52" data-start="00:56:46.047" data-end="00:56:51.667">To that the man asks anything and the blonde says yes anything.</span><br>
<span title="56:52 - 57:01" data-start="00:56:51.916" data-end="00:57:01.056">With that the man says follow me he walks into the next room and tells her come in and close the door she does hmm.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[57:02]</small> <span title="57:02 - 57:15" data-start="00:57:01.828" data-end="00:57:14.695">Ha ha ha no no no I'm not telling what those when I understand I understand that was a funny line but we're just building we're just gonna be okay great so then he says get on your knees,</span><br>
<span title="57:15 - 57:22" data-start="00:57:14.710" data-end="00:57:21.950">she does haha no no no no no he then says take down my zipper,</span><br>
<span title="57:22 - 57:30" data-start="00:57:22.092" data-end="00:57:29.810">she does oh no no no nope he then says go ahead take it out.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[57:31]</small> <span title="57:31 - 57:39" data-start="00:57:30.968" data-end="00:57:39.370">Well okay so then with that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands the zipper so man is this the hot tub.</span><br>
<span title="57:40 - 57:49" data-start="00:57:39.520" data-end="00:57:48.804">That's the man she takes out she takes it out she takes it out with both hands the man then says we'll go ahead.</span><br>
<span title="57:49 - 57:54" data-start="00:57:49.026" data-end="00:57:53.918">She brings her mouth closer while holding it close to her lips and says hello Mom.</span><br>
<span title="57:54 - 58:04" data-start="00:57:54.428" data-end="00:58:03.910">The zipper okay she's polish so she what is this supposed Joker blonde joke her mother's in Poland you don't know her this is a joke.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[58:04]</small> <span title="58:04 - 58:09" data-start="00:58:04.474" data-end="00:58:09.041">Zippers are stupid I thought it was a worldwide message center jokes</span><br>
<span title="58:09 - 58:24" data-start="00:58:08.786" data-end="00:58:23.787">you know she couldn't hire a killer mother could be on vacation in Poland I suppose I really clear but but that would actually infer that her mom actually is a Polish ancestry so I think it's still probably works in the particular case also lots of blond people in Poland I think this joke is really going good,</span><br>
<span title="58:24 - 58:25" data-start="00:58:23.901" data-end="00:58:24.696">okay,</span><br>
<span title="58:25 - 58:35" data-start="00:58:24.765" data-end="00:58:35.472">I'm kind of a this is racist right okay yes is called father tells daughter I'm sorry I'm sorry this joke is called father tells date his daughter likes to screw</span><br>
<span title="58:35 - 58:43" data-start="00:58:35.334" data-end="00:58:42.917">almost less racist okay I'm ready to laugh all right Warren joker I'm right with you</span><br>
<span title="58:43 - 58:51" data-start="00:58:42.770" data-end="00:58:50.911">time stamp my comply sense it my sense of humor is gaping wide open and ready yeah I'm gagging on my humor</span><br>
<span title="58:51 - 58:56" data-start="00:58:50.791" data-end="00:58:55.673">some people call you a porn Cowboy there,</span><br>
<span title="58:56 - 59:03" data-start="00:58:55.778" data-end="00:59:02.650">some old open your sissy humoral get inside.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[59:03]</small> <span title="59:03 - 59:09" data-start="00:59:02.962" data-end="00:59:08.825">All right with a spring in 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date Peggy Sue,</span><br>
<span title="59:09 - 59:19" data-start="00:59:08.922" data-end="00:59:18.530">Bobby's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo it's 1957 so it's cool right when he goes to the front door Peggy Sue's father answers and invite cement.</span><br>
<span title="59:19 - 59:29" data-start="00:59:18.833" data-end="00:59:28.585">It says Peggy Sue's not ready yet so why don't you have a seat that's cool says Bobby and Peggy Sue's father asked Bobby what they're planning to do,</span><br>
<span title="59:29 - 59:42" data-start="00:59:28.646" data-end="00:59:41.990">Bobby replies politely that they'll probably just go to The Malt Shop or to a drive-in movie I don't think I've mentioned yet that is 1957 and imagine yeah mmkay Peggy Sue's father responds why don't you kids go out and screw.</span><br>
<span title="59:42 - 59:44" data-start="00:59:42.347" data-end="00:59:43.916">I hear all the kids are doing it.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[59:46]</small> <span title="59:46 - 59:59" data-start="00:59:45.579" data-end="00:59:58.968">Until they do ha ha ha no no no God damn it that would not be we wanted to comedies twist right so bad a job actually is comes as quite a surprise to Bobby and he's a walk what.</span><br>
<span title="59:59 - 1:00:07" data-start="00:59:59.136" data-end="01:00:06.854">Yeah says Peggy Sue's father Peggy Sue really likes to screw she'll screw all night if we let her hmm</span><br>
<span title="1:00:07 - 1:00:21" data-start="01:00:06.707" data-end="01:00:21.096">Bobby's eyes light up and smiles from ear to ear immediately he revises plans for the evening a few minutes later Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes I don't think I've mentioned is 19 okay okay okay okay yeah,</span><br>
<span title="1:00:21 - 1:00:34" data-start="01:00:21.129" data-end="01:00:33.978">saddle shoes poodle skirt and she announces she's ready to go almost breathless with anticipation Bobby escort's his date out the front door while Dad is saying have a good evening kids with a wink for Bobby.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:00:37]</small> <span title="1:00:37 - 1:00:40" data-start="01:00:36.658" data-end="01:00:40.225">Okay also the Korean war was recently.</span><br>
<span title="1:00:40 - 1:00:53" data-start="01:00:40.421" data-end="01:00:52.730">Good point good point are you ready for the punch line because it's gonna make you feel good is the punchline Sunday Monday half days</span><br>
<span title="1:00:53 - 1:00:57" data-start="01:00:52.556" data-end="01:00:56.960">yeah okay good not gonna feel gross about this one okay good.</span><br>
<span title="1:00:57 - 1:01:06" data-start="01:00:57.219" data-end="01:01:06.305">About 20 minutes later a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back in the house slams the door behind her and screams at her father damn it Daddy the twist,</span><br>
<span title="1:01:06 - 1:01:16" data-start="01:01:06.311" data-end="01:01:16.118">it's called The Twist there was a Twist there was there was an actual there was a swimmer oh okay yeah no I think he gave her the wrong Martini garnish.</span><br>
<span title="1:01:17 - 1:01:26" data-start="01:01:16.619" data-end="01:01:26.182">You were listening to NPR's Great Performances tonight Uncle Vanya by.</span><br>
<span title="1:01:27 - 1:01:36" data-start="01:01:26.548" data-end="01:01:35.769">Anton Chekhov okay well you know there's a there's an Oli and Inga joke so that's a but we already did a Polish jokes.</span><br>
<span title="1:01:36 - 1:01:45" data-start="01:01:36.055" data-end="01:01:44.637">Fine yeah racist you hey but you said you like jokes which of these two jokes would you like me to tell you would you like me to tell you the joke told</span><br>
<span title="1:01:45 - 1:01:48" data-start="01:01:44.607" data-end="01:01:48.436">daddy explains dead cat to daughter or,</span><br>
<span title="1:01:49 - 1:01:59" data-start="01:01:48.505" data-end="01:01:58.698">or not a single dirty word is used not a single dirty word is used not assert dirt single dirty where does used by the morn Joker.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:01:59]</small> <span title="1:01:59 - 1:02:09" data-start="01:01:59.389" data-end="01:02:09.069">There are new to Too Tall Trees a birch and a beach are growing in the woods Okay small fuck.</span><br>
<span title="1:02:20 - 1:02:25" data-start="01:02:20.247" data-end="01:02:25.228">A small tree begins to grow between them.</span><br>
<span title="1:02:26 - 1:02:35" data-start="01:02:25.801" data-end="01:02:35.022">The beach says to the Birch is that son of a beach or son of a birch hmm okay.</span><br>
<span title="1:02:35 - 1:02:43" data-start="01:02:35.497" data-end="01:02:43.313">The bird says it cannot tell just that a woodpecker lands on the sapling the Burch says woodpecker you are a tree expert.</span><br>
<span title="1:02:44 - 1:02:48" data-start="01:02:43.860" data-end="01:02:47.544">Can you tell if that's a son of a beach or a son of a birch.</span><br>
<span title="1:02:48 - 1:02:55" data-start="01:02:48.055" data-end="01:02:54.503">The Woodpecker takes the taste of the small tree and replies it's neither a son of a beach nor a son of a birch,</span><br>
<span title="1:02:55 - 1:02:59" data-start="01:02:54.617" data-end="01:02:58.860">it is however the best piece of Ash I have ever put my pecker in.</span><br>
<span title="1:02:59 - 1:03:05" data-start="01:02:59.128" data-end="01:03:04.982">That's good I like boots you seem happy but it's a bark bark bark.</span><br>
<span title="1:03:05 - 1:03:15" data-start="01:03:05.150" data-end="01:03:15.082">You know it's not like a laugh out loud so much as you know know something like way home you're going to your driving home holy shit.</span><br>
<span title="1:03:16 - 1:03:25" data-start="01:03:15.674" data-end="01:03:25.003">I mean no oh hey yeah oh are these were they right the New Yorker cartoons from this is the spot.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:03:28]</small> <span title="1:03:28 - 1:03:32" data-start="01:03:27.503" data-end="01:03:32.484">Okay so all right,</span><br>
<span title="1:03:33 - 1:03:47" data-start="01:03:32.580" data-end="01:03:46.707">so we have a note from who's here islands that slimy Rollins assess let me around around saying addendum there are 947 sex joke posts on sex stories.com counting regular stories are fiction that are posted on six</span><br>
<span title="1:03:47 - 1:03:49" data-start="01:03:46.633" data-end="01:03:49.219">on in the sex joke section.</span><br>
<span title="1:03:50 - 1:04:00" data-start="01:03:49.540" data-end="01:03:59.833">The port Joker has 481 posts in the section which means that he's responsible for about 50 point seven percent of the content there but from what I can tell.</span><br>
<span title="1:04:01 - 1:04:11" data-start="01:04:01.216" data-end="01:04:11.410">Of this the pain Joker's post by clicking on the profile yeah and and looking at the dates of the posts yeah for the beginning and the first one and the last one.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:04:12]</small> <span title="1:04:12 - 1:04:15" data-start="01:04:12.262" data-end="01:04:15.163">The ones that between that I'm clicking on.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:04:16]</small> <span title="1:04:16 - 1:04:25" data-start="01:04:15.980" data-end="01:04:24.517">They were all posted in like a nine-day period no he died he died a four-person between the second and the third and the seventh</span><br>
<span title="1:04:24 - 1:04:31" data-start="01:04:24.424" data-end="01:04:31.340">of March 2004 he was probably he knew he was gonna die this was his lasting Legacy yeah,</span><br>
<span title="1:04:31 - 1:04:40" data-start="01:04:31.437" data-end="01:04:40.235">he was probably under some sort of like Auto writing trance only way that he knows how to work a Fugue State he woke up nine days later had an orgasm</span><br>
<span title="1:04:40 - 1:04:53" data-start="01:04:40.142" data-end="01:04:52.784">that week yeah he moved on to different shit he's almost all these were posted on Saturday the 6th of March 2004.</span><br>
<span title="1:04:53 - 1:04:56" data-start="01:04:53.078" data-end="01:04:56.295">Look man cocaine works damn it jokes.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:04:57]</small> <span title="1:04:57 - 1:05:04" data-start="01:04:57.111" data-end="01:05:04.460">Hey hey plus ya know what the Poetry that was just that really classy.</span><br>
<span title="1:05:05 - 1:05:20" data-start="01:05:04.790" data-end="01:05:19.656">No no no that was a joke section now we gives a limerick section really is Frank's your name your name is a pervert boy 1 yeah yeah what's up its your boy pretty boy one</span><br>
<span title="1:05:20 - 1:05:29" data-start="01:05:19.626" data-end="01:05:28.802">f+ be very nice this is pervert boy ones First Column first baby is my fish poem a small pleases the cupboard to the feedback.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">Being A Hot Girl</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:05:30]</small> <span title="1:05:30 - 1:05:37" data-start="01:05:29.699" data-end="01:05:37.174">That was bird naturally beautiful with long flowing blond hair the face of an angel I'm sorry what is your pillow so yes it's if them.</span><br>
<span title="1:05:37 - 1:05:41" data-start="01:05:37.342" data-end="01:05:40.991">Being a hot girl they perfectly one.</span><br>
<span title="1:05:41 - 1:05:51" data-start="01:05:41.447" data-end="01:05:51.065">No it was burned naturally beautiful with long flowing blond hair the face of an angel in the body of the devil.</span><br>
<span title="1:05:52 - 1:06:00" data-start="01:05:51.512" data-end="01:05:59.554">From a very young age bullies crowd mediates me love me but I learn to so save myself for marriage.</span><br>
<span title="1:06:00 - 1:06:12" data-start="01:06:00.028" data-end="01:06:12.175">So soon marriage to the richest man I can get you'll take care of me spoiling me have to compete with other women's looks I'll fight with my butt and bust to be the hottest for him.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:06:13]</small> <span title="1:06:13 - 1:06:27" data-start="01:06:12.892" data-end="01:06:26.570">Now I've won him so now I keep him I starve my waist fat in my bust I owe you all my hair till it's smooth and shines I work on my looks to my husband dying's.</span><br>
<span title="1:06:27 - 1:06:38" data-start="01:06:27.215" data-end="01:06:38.101">He eats your face yep then embed a please him well I make him mourn groaning.</span><br>
<span title="1:06:39 - 1:06:50" data-start="01:06:38.630" data-end="01:06:50.057">I cannot finish in the time he lasts he can't hold it with a girl like me that's the price of having my body yet I pretend to be satisfied as he lies next to me Breathless.</span><br>
<span title="1:06:51 - 1:07:00" data-start="01:06:50.558" data-end="01:07:00.067">Hey wait a little sweat of my brow and turned to face him always looking pretty my hair is tidy in the way I lies sex.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:07:01]</small> <span title="1:07:01 - 1:07:10" data-start="01:07:01.055" data-end="01:07:09.861">I asked him if he wants to go again in my sexiest voice he catches his breath and looks at me but as he does the flicker of lust it is I dies and.</span><br>
<span title="1:07:10 - 1:07:15" data-start="01:07:10.147" data-end="01:07:14.669">I know he's done I'm nothing to him now I've served my purpose.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:07:16]</small> <span title="1:07:16 - 1:07:25" data-start="01:07:15.746" data-end="01:07:25.372">Poem to make see he feels an urge I'll be there to satisfy it suppress it he goes from the bed leaving me they're used.</span><br>
<span title="1:07:26 - 1:07:37" data-start="01:07:25.676" data-end="01:07:37.139">I am beautiful I am seductive I have served my purpose I may have the hair of Princess Aurora the Youth of Ariel boobs big and firm.</span><br>
<span title="1:07:37 - 1:07:40" data-start="01:07:37.334" data-end="01:07:40.469">Yes after he has had his way with me and come.</span><br>
<span title="1:07:41 - 1:07:49" data-start="01:07:41.016" data-end="01:07:48.697">I'm trash Oh My Beauty means nothing to him until next he hardens again.</span><br>
<span title="1:07:49 - 1:07:56" data-start="01:07:49.361" data-end="01:07:55.710">Please be generous with the comments this is my first poem in all fairness I didn't write it in my sister did.</span><br>
<span title="1:07:56 - 1:08:03" data-start="01:07:55.905" data-end="01:08:03.299">The book sister has a lifestyle that you.</span><br>
<span title="1:08:04 - 1:08:13" data-start="01:08:03.521" data-end="01:08:13.427">I should probably and I change the title from stepdad to being a hot girl.</span><br>
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<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:08:14]</small> <span title="1:08:14 - 1:08:19" data-start="01:08:14.306" data-end="01:08:18.576">All right shut up.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">My Massive Cock In Your Wet Juicy Twat</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:08:19]</small> <span title="1:08:19 - 1:08:32" data-start="01:08:18.933" data-end="01:08:32.151">My name is the sexy Quattro jizz Masters wait is this a this is a collaborative team like the Jurassic 5 yes we are the SEC we are the sexy quattro's is masters.</span><br>
<span title="1:08:33 - 1:08:37" data-start="01:08:32.698" data-end="01:08:37.102">Scrappy Toronto Blue Jays,</span><br>
<span title="1:08:37 - 1:08:44" data-start="01:08:37.190" data-end="01:08:44.367">my massive cock in your wet juicy twat I saw a mouse</span><br>
<span title="1:08:44 - 1:08:56" data-start="01:08:44.347" data-end="01:08:55.854">I saw you standing there tits jiggling in the air I bet your pussy's real real tight we'll find out for sure tonight oh this is rhyming poem okay yeah.</span><br>
<span title="1:08:56 - 1:09:08" data-start="01:08:56.148" data-end="01:09:08.016">So I rip off my pants and take up my cock I said fuck me now and please don't talk what's the bus we're gonna do it rough tonight fucking hard till it gets light.</span><br>
<span title="1:09:08 - 1:09:22" data-start="01:09:08.374" data-end="01:09:22.042">I'll shove my rod in your gaping wet slit out even play a bit with your nice swollen Clint it's too I can go in and out of your amazing cunt.</span><br>
<span title="1:09:22 - 1:09:25" data-start="01:09:22.219" data-end="01:09:25.490">Slamming it so hard it makes you.</span><br>
<span title="1:09:26 - 1:09:40" data-start="01:09:25.730" data-end="01:09:40.352">Mmm I see my poem like sort of erotic enough so I'm gonna I'm gonna you know.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:09:41]</small> <span title="1:09:41 - 1:09:46" data-start="01:09:40.854" data-end="01:09:46.420">I'm going to make this really appealing for you right now audience Place into overdrive.</span><br>
<span title="1:09:47 - 1:09:54" data-start="01:09:46.714" data-end="01:09:53.991">Please listen listen listen I'm going to judge you on this next line and this next line alone okay,</span><br>
<span title="1:09:54 - 1:10:02" data-start="01:09:54.069" data-end="01:10:01.850">good I'm going to please you then do it because I do crazy shit to your boobs oh yeah,</span><br>
<span title="1:10:02 - 1:10:17" data-start="01:10:01.946" data-end="01:10:17.333">this ain't nothing you've ever seen on the to yeah and then I sneak my fingers into your asshole he's not British I'm surprised as you enjoy my rock-hard</span><br>
<span title="1:10:17 - 1:10:18" data-start="01:10:17.151" data-end="01:10:18.333">Pole.</span><br>
<span title="1:10:19 - 1:10:32" data-start="01:10:18.510" data-end="01:10:31.819">Okay okay then then I begin to jizz down your mouth you know before we planting my seed down south which sounds where.</span><br>
<span title="1:10:32 - 1:10:39" data-start="01:10:32.032" data-end="01:10:38.822">Government mandate I need to know like True North here magnetic north okay.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:10:39]</small> <span title="1:10:39 - 1:10:45" data-start="01:10:39.450" data-end="01:10:45.439">It's like it's like having an 11 miles south got to do so I leave you there lying in bed.</span><br>
<span title="1:10:46 - 1:10:56" data-start="01:10:45.931" data-end="01:10:55.584">After riding you like a fucking Christmas sled everyone knows how hard Santa rise that it's fucking sled yes yeah.</span><br>
<span title="1:10:56 - 1:11:00" data-start="01:10:56.014" data-end="01:10:59.690">I'll be back next week or day.</span><br>
<span title="1:11:00 - 1:11:15" data-start="01:11:00.281" data-end="01:11:14.885">And next time I'll ride you like Santa's sleigh up that's the only it's the only thing that's the only thing I know how to ride with day sorry it's renuzit December 23rd I lost my license that's really unfortunate.</span><br>
<span title="1:11:15 - 1:11:19" data-start="01:11:15.072" data-end="01:11:19.369">I love to fuck you any time and place.</span><br>
<span title="1:11:20 - 1:11:29" data-start="01:11:19.699" data-end="01:11:29.451">Especially when I come on your beautiful face a beautiful suite at the end so pretty.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">She Had A Big Beaver</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:11:31]</small> <span title="1:11:31 - 1:11:37" data-start="01:11:30.637" data-end="01:11:36.950">Don't know crazy shit to your boobs hey hey bunny bread mmm</span><br>
<span title="1:11:37 - 1:11:45" data-start="01:11:36.920" data-end="01:11:44.700">your fate of the monkey is right fuck yeah if there's one thing you know about me yeah the only band that I know that you love more than the monkeys,</span><br>
<span title="1:11:45 - 1:11:51" data-start="01:11:44.707" data-end="01:11:51.272">as the band Smash Mouth yeah that's it in my book there's two bands right</span><br>
<span title="1:11:51 - 1:12:00" data-start="01:11:51.126" data-end="01:11:59.915">yeah they're Smash Mouth Is the monkeys and everything else you'll rot in hell was the opening this the monkeys and the Smash Mouth well that's why I said two bands.</span><br>
<span title="1:12:00 - 1:12:10" data-start="01:12:00.263" data-end="01:12:10.186">But if I have to think if I have to think about my favorite Smash Mouth cover monkey song It's gotta be I'm a Believer oh yeah you have fun poem,</span><br>
<span title="1:12:10 - 1:12:22" data-start="01:12:10.229" data-end="01:12:22.448">yes yes I do yes I'm glad you asked because yeah so I would like to share with you I'm Ryan to by the way and.</span><br>
<span title="1:12:23 - 1:12:34" data-start="01:12:22.859" data-end="01:12:33.961">Well this is my personal interpretation of the song the monkeys I'm a Believer also to my Smash Mouth it correctly I mean a monkeys they had a pretty good idea but sash belt just knocked it out the fucking Park your song's called what.</span><br>
<span title="1:12:34 - 1:12:41" data-start="01:12:34.193" data-end="01:12:40.776">I'm a Believer but my song is called she had a big beaver yeah.</span><br>
<span title="1:12:41 - 1:12:55" data-start="01:12:41.322" data-end="01:12:55.260">No not not a prime asperity okay it is not believe it or not no know who the hell's Primus no no I again monkeys Neil Diamond Smash Mouth that's the Holy Trinity right there alright you're reading dirty paperbacks in the 1930s good.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:12:55]</small> <span title="1:12:55 - 1:13:42" data-start="01:12:55.120" data-end="01:13:42.160">Music.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:13:42]</small> <span title="1:13:42 - 1:13:48" data-start="01:13:42.007" data-end="01:13:47.528">Either oh actually splitting wood.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:13:48]</small> <span title="1:13:48 - 1:14:35" data-start="01:13:47.600" data-end="01:14:35.280">Music.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:14:35]</small> <span title="1:14:35 - 1:14:43" data-start="01:14:35.138" data-end="01:14:43.387">Boy didn't you he wanted to take away from that hot ass then she sat on your face but you couldn't eat her.</span><br>
<span title="1:14:44 - 1:14:54" data-start="01:14:43.942" data-end="01:14:54.118">None of this makes sense because a lot of people a lot of people like to get exotic pets but I really don't recommend like a beaver is not a very well done no no.</span><br>
<span title="1:14:54 - 1:15:01" data-start="01:14:54.349" data-end="01:15:01.040">Prove it this was everyone should look into getting a Genet because they're like cats.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:15:02]</small> <span title="1:15:02 - 1:15:07" data-start="01:15:01.803" data-end="01:15:06.513">We can't really just put a beaver in a cage especially if it's a really big beaver mmm.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">Twelve Inch Dick</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:15:07]</small> <span title="1:15:07 - 1:15:14" data-start="01:15:06.817" data-end="01:15:13.544">Kumquats out oh yes hello I got more poems here I got more poems and I like pie.</span><br>
<span title="1:15:14 - 1:15:23" data-start="01:15:13.938" data-end="01:15:23.312">And you know I mean there's something there's something there's something appealing about the poem called not oh my natto to my wife.</span><br>
<span title="1:15:23 - 1:15:33" data-start="01:15:23.471" data-end="01:15:33.458">Which starts tinkle tinkle little slut I'm going to fuck you up your but this is kind of fun kind of fun but boiler alert catchy and</span><br>
<span title="1:15:33 - 1:15:43" data-start="01:15:33.365" data-end="01:15:42.964">kind of goes downhill from there so I like it I like it but I don't like it as much as a poem that I just found written by Karen Marie.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:15:44]</small> <span title="1:15:44 - 1:15:56" data-start="01:15:43.825" data-end="01:15:55.666">And this poem by Karen Marie has called 12 inch dick oh well I know inch-high private eye okay that's that's me I'm Cara Maria Cara move.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:15:57]</small> <span title="1:15:57 - 1:16:06" data-start="01:15:56.789" data-end="01:16:05.883">Ha ha Cara Maria and ten fingers 12 inch dick my name is Candy I turn tricks</span><br>
<span title="1:16:06 - 1:16:18" data-start="01:16:05.773" data-end="01:16:18.397">if you drop your pants I will suck your dick I love a man who takes control who have been me over and fuck my whole he will fuck me hard login deep,</span><br>
<span title="1:16:19 - 1:16:22" data-start="01:16:18.511" data-end="01:16:21.970">he will come in me and then we will follow sleep,</span><br>
<span title="1:16:22 - 1:16:29" data-start="01:16:22.040" data-end="01:16:29.299">hey we might be from stopping a stock and it won't be long before it's hard as a rock.</span><br>
<span title="1:16:30 - 1:16:32" data-start="01:16:29.521" data-end="01:16:32.431">He will that be all over like a stick.</span><br>
<span title="1:16:33 - 1:16:40" data-start="01:16:32.654" data-end="01:16:40.155">Well fucking me heart is metal bitch so if your dick is hard and needing to be sorry.</span><br>
<span title="1:16:40 - 1:16:51" data-start="01:16:40.486" data-end="01:16:51.021">Just call on me and you can fill me up I love the taste of calm in my mouth I will swallow it down no spitting it out.</span><br>
<span title="1:16:51 - 1:16:59" data-start="01:16:51.351" data-end="01:16:58.556">I love trying man up on the wall well sucking their dicks and playing with their balls.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:16:59]</small> <span title="1:16:59 - 1:17:12" data-start="01:16:58.949" data-end="01:17:11.996">False scary fat big or small one by one I will suck them all they will leave only with the smile on their face cuz they have just been to the happy place.</span><br>
<span title="1:17:12 - 1:17:21" data-start="01:17:12.228" data-end="01:17:21.476">Cara Marie you're an art Thief I fo fum Englishmen make me cough,</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">What Did We Learn, F Plus?</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:17:22]</small> <span title="1:17:22 - 1:17:30" data-start="01:17:21.500" data-end="01:17:30.217">um what did we learn from this F bleep about Karen Marie specifically I think the Cara Maria is my favorite poem</span><br>
<span title="1:17:30 - 1:17:38" data-start="01:17:30.187" data-end="01:17:38.472">my favorite poet ever yeah Jorge Louise more hey now it's I don't know I think this could be something that could be read at a funeral.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:17:39]</small> <span title="1:17:39 - 1:17:52" data-start="01:17:39.162" data-end="01:17:51.786">Perhaps you know the next reading at this reading will be 12 each day reviewing how renewing your vows to the tune of oh Danny buck,</span><br>
<span title="1:17:52 - 1:17:58" data-start="01:17:51.883" data-end="01:17:58.241">Vines candy and I turn tricks.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:18:00]</small> <span title="1:18:00 - 1:18:08" data-start="01:17:59.552" data-end="01:18:07.630">I love come inside my mouth is maybe the original cards.</span><br>
<span title="1:18:08 - 1:18:16" data-start="01:18:08.141" data-end="01:18:16.380">Broadly they couldn't translate from the Gaelic very well yeah mmm I've been translating the words to this games in Gaelic song</span><br>
<span title="1:18:16 - 1:18:27" data-start="01:18:16.279" data-end="01:18:26.913">I think maybe the words need a little punch up for modern times a lot of dick references in this 1 ohm and me are up a pom pom.</span><br>
<span title="1:18:28 - 1:18:32" data-start="01:18:27.559" data-end="01:18:31.838">It's it's I feel like it's kind of interesting but like.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:18:33]</small> <span title="1:18:33 - 1:18:40" data-start="01:18:32.555" data-end="01:18:40.443">You know because obviously there's a bunch of different places for different like sex stories and sexy things to be written on the internet.</span><br>
<span title="1:18:41 - 1:18:49" data-start="01:18:40.675" data-end="01:18:48.978">And while that you know sort of data dump is fine I feel like the community that always like rallies around it is fun to me.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:18:50]</small> <span title="1:18:50 - 1:18:59" data-start="01:18:50.019" data-end="01:18:59.402">Because they sort of you know they sort of like like any like form or any sort of a community they're always sort of jockeying for position which is.</span><br>
<span title="1:19:00 - 1:19:05" data-start="01:18:59.643" data-end="01:19:05.317">Enjoyable
well it's interesting to people who are like super prolific on a site like this.</span><br>
<span title="1:19:06 - 1:19:20" data-start="01:19:05.701" data-end="01:19:19.684">And like you know and and you know it is a non-competitive forum so people are usually like I love your story about all the fucking check out my fucking stories they're also not well written.</span><br>
<span title="1:19:20 - 1:19:24" data-start="01:19:20.069" data-end="01:19:24.464">Midas my descent into animal sex is complete chapter 4.</span><br>
<span title="1:19:25 - 1:19:34" data-start="01:19:25.065" data-end="01:19:33.548">Oh I loved it now you and you wrote your father in there
you know it's a.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:19:35]</small> <span title="1:19:35 - 1:19:41" data-start="01:19:35.211" data-end="01:19:41.443">It's one of those places on the internet where people can really
share their worthless garbage.</span><br>
<span title="1:19:42 - 1:19:54" data-start="01:19:41.782" data-end="01:19:54.352">So this is saying that places the site has not been updated since well now the content has but the site itself the template has not been updated since.</span><br>
<span title="1:19:55 - 1:20:03" data-start="01:19:54.610" data-end="01:20:02.977">So I like that part about it so interesting you can from a link on the site that does not work.</span><br>
<span title="1:20:03 - 1:20:06" data-start="01:20:03.136" data-end="01:20:05.668">You could actually set it as your homepage,</span><br>
<span title="1:20:06 - 1:20:20" data-start="01:20:05.701" data-end="01:20:20.216">it was missing browser well you know I need to have something to look at during my 15 minute jerk break at work oh save me some time brought to you by XNX x.com which appears to just be a tube site,</span><br>
<span title="1:20:20 - 1:20:24" data-start="01:20:20.267" data-end="01:20:24.122">I do like that it allows you to have two different skins</span><br>
<span title="1:20:24 - 1:20:32" data-start="01:20:24.039" data-end="01:20:31.864">you can you have the blue or the black and white amp oh oh this is oh there's a different color to it yeah I like the Vintage look that's good.</span><br>
<span title="1:20:32 - 1:20:41" data-start="01:20:32.312" data-end="01:20:41.353">Yeah that's good I mean yeah the I the real I searing yellow on blue Circa 2000 website really.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:20:42]</small> <span title="1:20:42 - 1:20:46" data-start="01:20:42.340" data-end="01:20:46.088">And if you want to go somewhere with two different color schemes you should go to ball pit,</span><br>
<span title="1:20:46 - 1:20:59" data-start="01:20:46.121" data-end="01:20:58.844">that's right that's right depending on what time of the day you visit vault at your color scheme might be different and your device setting what and we will hopefully have a new merch I'm looking for new art and new merch.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">New Merch</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:20:59]</small> <span title="1:20:59 - 1:21:06" data-start="01:20:59.022" data-end="01:21:06.424">And new dumb things if you've ever wanted to smoke weed out of an apple slutty one hitter.</span><br>
<span title="1:21:07 - 1:21:11" data-start="01:21:06.836" data-end="01:21:11.169">I do actually want to make f plus 1 hitters.</span><br>
<span title="1:21:12 - 1:21:22" data-start="01:21:11.796" data-end="01:21:21.566">That's nice that is my new that is my new merch merch concept that we can hopefully have happen soon but when I said the Bunny Bread authenticated crack pipe collection you said no.</span><br>
<span title="1:21:22 - 1:21:33" data-start="01:21:21.905" data-end="01:21:33.170">So now it's cool you know what you know what it's just about anticipating demand so we'll do a run at en you know and and him a number of principles such as yourself.</span><br>
<span title="1:21:33 - 1:21:42" data-start="01:21:33.428" data-end="01:21:42.488">And we can go we could go back to like 2008 and do like f plus one hand dipped synthetic weed.</span><br>
<span title="1:21:43 - 1:21:49" data-start="01:21:42.845" data-end="01:21:49.464">Packets online and bath salts like but like fake pills.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:21:51]</small> <span title="1:21:51 - 1:21:54" data-start="01:21:51.334" data-end="01:21:54.290">Okay bye-bye.</span><br>
<br>


<h2 id="chapter">Lemon Pepper</h2>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:21:55]</small> <span title="1:21:55 - 1:22:04" data-start="01:21:54.539" data-end="01:22:03.589">Good a spike got me a new bomber no veggies but Daddy I am accused, I open my legs and suffocate that dead but first I gotta tell that nigga straight like this.</span><br>
<br>

<small style="opacity: 0.5;">[1:22:03]</small> <span title="1:22:03 - 1:22:24" data-start="01:22:03.440" data-end="01:22:23.751">Music.</span><br>

<br>
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                elements[i].setAttribute("data-label", label);
            }
        }
    });
}

HAVE_CONFIDENCE = false;
HAVE_TIMESTAMPS = HAVE_CONFIDENCE;  // for now ...

AUDIO_PLAYER = null;
PAUSE_TIMEOUT = null;
PLAYBACK_ON_CLICK = false;
ARE_PLAYING = false;

window.addEventListener("load", function(){
    if(!HAVE_CONFIDENCE) {
        var button = document.getElementById('toggle-styling');
        if (button !== null) { button.remove(); }
    }

    addAudioPlayer();
    setupTranscriptChangeListeners();
});
</script>


</body>
</html>
!

CSS 

              
                body { font-family:"Noto Serif TC",serif; }

h2 { font-size:200%; margin-bottom:0.5em; font-weight:600;  }

.transcript-base { line-height:180%; padding:2rem; }
!

JS
!
999px

Console